Through Thick or Thin

Real Steel

2011-10-31T01:28:00.001+08:00

Watched Real Steel and it was good! Love Hugh Jackman, love the Max boy. Both are so handsome!

The movie was so exciting. No regret rushing to catch the show coz it was worth it :D

Rainy season

2011-10-28T19:50:00.001+08:00

It has been raining heavily here in Jkt, which is good.

It's raining right this moment. Got some rain water dropped on me while I was walking outta the office towards the car. It felt so refreshing. It's been so long since the last time I walk in the rain, I actually miss the feeling.

Mobile blogging

2011-10-27T23:29:00.001+08:00

Just installed Blogger in my iphone. Cool stuff. Now i don't need to wait till i on my comp to blog. Yipee.

Galau... Resah... Gundah

2011-10-25T18:25:00.001+08:00

Hanya instinct atau neting kah ini? Perasaan kok rasanya sangat2 gelisah, kawatir. Bagaimana akhir dari cerita kita ini? Belakangan kok rasanya ada yg berubah sama diri kamu? Kenapa di saat kita sedang jauh, kamu sangat cuek? Apa kamu bertemu dengan yg baru di sana? Atau kah sudah mulai ilfil sama aku?

Pikiran kacau, kepala sakit, hati sakit, badan lemas.

Aku harus bagaimana? Kelakuan ku harus bagaimana supaya tidak menyakiti perasaan kamu lagi? Sakit hati yg teramat sangat saat aku menyakiti hatimu. Sadarkah kamu betapa aku menyayangimu? Maafkan bila mulutku menuturkan kata pisah dengan mudahnya. Bukan maksud hati ku untuk melepaskanmu.

HURT

2011-10-24T18:52:00.003+08:00

My life has been quite a mess ever since I returned to Jkt. Physically and emotionally troubled. I often fall sick here and I am even much more careless that I could accidentally scratch myself badly. I am now carrying many scars on my legs. My brain is not even working well. My STM sometimes get worsen I guess. So many stuff to remember here at work. The daily routine is also very hectic with many customers coming over to get their goods.

My life spent with family is not as good as I thought it would be. So many conflict had happened. I felt like I could break down at times. On the other hand, I thought that it'd be best for me to stay away. I don't know what's best for me anymore.

Coz of these many problems, I have caused many hurt to my loved one. I am terribly sorry. I seek attention on the wrong place, I become dependent on you. I'm sorry I have been harsh in so many ways, in so many different occasion. I promise I'll change. I will find things to occupy myself with.

Thanks for being so patient. Thank you for still hanging on strong and not letting go. You are one in a million.

SICKENING FLU!

2011-03-29T18:02:00.001+08:00

It's flu season!!! And I'm hating it.

Many of my family members and relatives get flu, I'm included. Have been having this flu for about a week and it's so uncomfortable. I feel like I'm high on drugs, living a life that feels like a dream. My nose is runny while my ears are blocked. I can't focus well and it's affecting my work. Sighhhhh.... I can't even play freely with my nephew and niece :(

I must watch what I eat and I need to have enough rest, drink enough water and intake enough vitamins. I know all these but I don't really follow. Hahaha. Hope my body can recover fast! I'm tired of being sick :(

EVLYN KEIKO DARMAWAN

2011-03-25T18:09:00.000+08:00

Nothing much going on in my life so far I guess. Not that I can recall at the moment.

Ohh! there is 1 event though!

I have a niece!!!! And she's so cute! My older sis just gave birth 2 days ago (23rd March 2011).

Haven't have the time to upload any pic except 1 from my BB to FB.

Been covering my sis's work at the office. It's been a hectic day today.

And now it's time to visit my sis at the hospital.

Ciaooo~

LIFE AS IT IS

2011-01-27T17:41:00.000+08:00

I suddenly remembered that I wanted to transfer and upload photos of the new year firework. I guess I won't be uploading it anytime soon.

My life... Has been physically tiresome. Didn't have enough sleep for days but I can't sleep early. I feel awake when I lie on my bed and I don't know why.

Jun came to Jkt for a few days during his off days from work. But he has returned to Sg again yesterday. Had fun with him till I forgot that it was actually my workdays I was skipping. Yesterday when I'm finally starting to work full day again, it was as though I just returned from a long holiday. Quite refreshing.

Look forward to his next visit :)

Just a side note, I need a haircut badly X(

3 DAYS 2 NIGHTS S'PORE

2011-01-11T18:12:00.000+08:00

Going for a quick trip to S'pore with my dad from tomorrow morning till Saturday morning.

Was quite surprised that dad invited me to go along with him. I guess he needs someone to take care of the house chores and at the same time to accompany him to meet the lawyer who is handling our new apartment at Aalto.

At such a short notice, I haven't even pack my luggage. I don't know what to bring there. What to buy from there? Where will I be going? Where should I bring my dad to?

Rushing..rushing... Leaving behind so many works. I'm kindda worried about it :s

1ST POST IN YEAR 2011

2011-01-05T12:06:00.000+08:00

It's a new year!!! 2011 came in a flash.

I didn't celebrate Christmas 2010 :( It was so weird that xmas just felt like any other day that year. It's all because I'm staying in Indo. Sigh.

New year's eve, celebrated a li'l. Had steamboat with some of the family members but didn't go as smooth as I thought it'd be. Lit up some fireworks after dinner but the excitement only lasted for a few mins. Mom dozing off at about 10pm+. What a way to welcome the new year. Haha. Dad couldn't hold on much longer than her, so we had a toast at 11pm. Before that, bro and I drove a little to hunt for other people's fireworks. Brought my camera along to practice taking pictures of them.

1st of Jan, we headed to Bogor early in the morning. Grandma and friends and my cousins came to stay together. Guests came to visit and wish one another. Some more fireworks lit up. Some pictures taken but I haven't have the time to transfer them to my laptop. I'm gonna post some of the pics some other day.

Better late than not saying at all, Belated Merry Christmas 2010 and Happy New Year 2011!!! May God bless 2011 with much joy and prosperity.

Excited to see more of God's work in my life this 2011.

WORK WORK WORK

2010-12-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

Am working from home right now to kill my evening.

Yun has gone to S'pore for holiday. So I have the whole room for myself.

I don't quite used to sleeping alone in Indo. It's so quiet. Just me and my laptop while the songs are playing on the iTunes. Reminds me of when I was still in S'pore :D

But I've brought work home today. The system for my department needs to be improved. There are so many things done manually that it takes a lot of time to complete my admin stuff.

I love to work. Not the kind of work that would make me stress due to fear. The very 1st job I had in S'pore was so customer oriented that I was so afraid to handle the customer, in this case, the students. It's totally not easy to be in the customer service line. The stress made my whole face full of pimples. Never in my whole 25 years have I had that much pimples, not even when I was in my puberty stage. Sobs.

That job really taught me a lot though. I had fun here and there too.

Thank God for all the experiences :) Thinking back, I was so foolish to be so scared. Hahaha.

WHY VERY INCONSIDERATE?:

2010-12-18T16:02:00.012+08:00

Is it me who thinks too much or is there an increasing number of inconsiderate people around?

I know I'm not perfect, that I can be irritating and annoying to others too. But, at least I think of other people's feelings a lot (at least I think I do) and this habit is killing me like literally. I also prefer to be more ignorant like they do, if I could, but I just can't. If I manage to hurt anybody's feelings, I'm truly sorry. I'm sure I didn't mean to, unless you got me really pissed.

So anyway, I've been seriously annoyed when my space is invaded lately. If you can live in a messy room while I can't, the least you can do is not to spread your messy-ness into my territory. Or even if you still wanna be messy, at least move your body when I ask you nicely to clean up your mess. It's exhausting to be a nanny of an adult you know? And it is also very annoying to be cleaning all your mess up all the time. I don't get any appreciation for doing the job do I? Do you thank me? Do you even remember that I clean it up for your sake?

Another thing I can't stand is when 1 person can be out having fun, not caring about how the person at home is feeling. I'm so tired of always worrying for people who don't even have the courtesy to inform me that they're coming home late or something. How could they be so heartless? Is it coz I pamper them too much that I'm taken advantage of? Have you ever worry about me when I'm out somewhere at night? I guess you haven't. That's why you always don't know how I feel waiting for you to come home safely.

Adding on, how could anybody be so heartless to always "unconsciously" disturb other people's peace in the middle of the night or early morning? Do you not know that by doing so, you will disturb my sleep? Do you also not know that I'm rather sleep deprived already? Since I need to wake up early to go to work. My sleeping time is already not proper and you're making it worse by making so much noise. Thanks a lot. It's already difficult enough for me to doze off and I bet you already know this from long ago. But you just can't be bothered to care coz all you can think of is yourself. Which hurts me a lot.

This world doesn't revolve around you alone. Even if you're the cleverest, wealthiest, coolest, the most good looking person on earth, you still don't own the world (unless you're God). Wake up! Open your eyes and see that this world is full of people and not just you! Human beings with feelings, like yourself, are breathing the same air as you! No man is an island. No matter how you wish you could survive by yourself, you just won't be able to do so. That's why God created Eve to accompany Adam, coz He knew Man can't live alone.

You can't blame others who acts the same way as you do. Coz you just mirror each other. Hence, please do some self-reflection. Like my big bro had advised 1 of our staff: 'when 1 person dislike you, perhaps the problem lies between you two. But if it's a group of people we're talking about, then there has to be something wrong with you personally, be it your way of doing things or your character/personality'.

You don't give a shit on how much effort I put in to keep this relationship as it is now. My hard work go wasted most of the time. Before you know it, there might not be anymore relationship between us.

We grow older each day. But your behavior portrays otherwise. Time will not wait for us. Our youth won't last long. Don't you wanna be productive for your own sake? Don't you wanna be a somebody, maybe not to the whole world, but at least to yourself and your family in the future? I really wonder what is it that makes you who you are now? What did we do wrong in helping you to grow? Where did we go wrong? Coz you don't seem to mature in the correct way to me.

I believe I've shown much love towards you that I'm almost dried up. If you can't feel it, you're simply too ignorant to notice. And it's definitely not my fault. I'm running out of ideas of how to change you. I guess I'll just live it up to God to mould you to become a better person.

AGNES MONICA FEVER

2010-12-16T12:45:00.002+08:00

I just had a revelation that I've been one of Agnes Monica's big fan for a couple of years now. This is rare for me coz I used to have neutral feelings towards all artistes, not wanting to go head over heels for any of them. I even thought it was stupid to be crazily admiring stars who are out of reach.

However, this time it's different.

I must admit that I admire her coz she's simply FABULOUSO! Her singing talent, acting skill, pretty face, dance moves, good English, her affection and love to God (and her mom) are just some of the attributes I like from her.

I really look up to her as an artiste. She has character that many other Indonesian artistes don't. She's got style, she's got THE oomph.

Having said all this, I wonder about myself sometimes. Looking at how her career shoots up at such young age really got me thinking. What am I doing? What have I achieved? Our age difference is so li'l, yet she has made it big.

This is when admiration and envy collides.

I guess working hard really do pay off. She practices singing for hours in a day! She still has to practice dancing and, at the same time, juggle her time for many other activities. I don't think I'd be willing to sacrifice so much of my time coz I need lots of quality time for my loved ones (when I say "lots", I really mean a lot. Quality Time is one of my top preferred love language out of the 5).

However, if it makes me earn big bucks, perhaps I'd reconsider.

=p

UPDATE

2010-12-08T11:52:00.001+08:00

How time flies. I have been working in my family-owned business since May 2010. So now it's the 8th month already. Wow that's fast. It felt like it has only been 3 months.

I've gone through quite a lot ever since I'm staying with my family again. I fell ill more often than when I was in Sg, I get pissed more often and more easily as well. I miss Sg and the food. I even miss riding a bus! Hahahhaa!

I miss my friends, I miss Jun, I miss hanging out at Orchard Road or Tampines.

I know I regretted coming back to Indo for good. On the other hand, I will also be whining about how I miss my family if I were still in Sg.

It is better this way. Coz I don't wanna regret not being able to be present when any family member or relatives are in trouble (just like when my close uncle passed away).

I will keep on whining about how things in Sg are much better than in Jkt, but I won't live in regret. I will remind myself to put my feet forward to go for a better future.

I hope he can join me soon though :D

By the way, thx dad for the trip to Russia in September during the Hari Raya. Sorry, though, for playing too much that we made you upset.

Tthx babe for the polaroid camera and your effort to come and find me.

WHAT DO I REALLY LIKE, REALLY?

2010-07-28T15:34:00.000+08:00

I love it when my mom touches my forehead to check whether I'm having a fever. That gives me a sense of love.

I love it when my dad teaches and guides me how to be more successful in life. That gives me a sense of direction.

I love it when I share about my worries to my siblings and they are there to give me moral support. That gives me a sense of security.

I love it when they still bothers to comment about me. That shows they still care.

Moral of the story: I love my family. They complete me. Thank God for giving each one of them into my life.

Laneige

2010-07-06T14:55:00.002+08:00

Went to S'pore for a week from 20th - 27th June to accompany my grandma for doctors appointments. Did many last minute shopping. Managed to buy the Crocs pink sandal I wanted, the colour contact lenses for stock, T-shirts, shorts, and the best part is... Bought this Laneige water sleeping pack that I've been dreaming of for the past few months.

Saw the TV ad and a video on youtube which made me so eager to grab one.

I've used it thrice and the effect is really good. The dry, scaly skin on my cheeks and in between the eyebrows are gone. And my skin feels soft to the touch. Now my skin has the moisture that it needs.

Thumbs up to Laneige Water Sleeping Pack! :)

SG TOMORROW

2010-06-19T23:00:00.014+08:00

Going to S'pore tomorrow evening.

Somehow I feel awkward and not really looking forward to it.

Perhaps it's coz of the work that I'll be leaving behind for a full 1 week. It kindda worries me.

Or perhaps, it's coz the purpose of going there is to just accompany my family members to go to doctors and I'm not even sure if I'd be able to separate myself from them.

They're so dependent on me, I feel fed up sometimes :(

Not sure whether I'll be able to meet up with my friends over at S'pore like what I've told them. I'll try my best to arrange though.

1 week of visiting so many different doctors is time consuming already.

We shall see... *Fingers crossed*

PISSED today

2010-06-15T12:17:00.004+08:00

I'm so pissed by my mom today, for not giving a proper teaching to my cousins.

They're still in their growing up stage. They need better guidance than what my mom is giving them.

I sympathize them for not having parents in such young age. My mom does too. But why can't my mom teach better stuff? More sensible ones.

I'm just so angry with her!!!

Feeding them like pigs is not a way to show love. Teaching them no need to strive in school because 1 of them has to retain and she thought it's a way to cheer her up is so wrong!

So what if she is a girl who is not so smart? There is no stupid people, there is only lazy people. She says, "For girls it's ok not to study so high. Just get a rich husband." What the heck?! She compares with herself... The generation has changed so much! Not many future-mother-in-law who'd want an uneducated future-daughter-in-law nowadays.

I couldn't take it, I said it straight to her face. I asked her would she want a daughter in law who doesn't do well academically. And all she could do was smile??? She said it's because my cousin is slower in thinking. Even the down syndrome kids are clever nowadays, why can't a normal kid like my cousin be striving?

Grahhhhh!!!! I'm so angry.

Why can't she utter better encouragement that can motivate people to work harder?

She's so nonsensical most of the time, she makes me laugh in anger and feel like strangling myself.

Kate Spade

2010-06-04T17:32:00.001+08:00

Was browsing Kate Spade's website to search for the 1 bag I'd like my sis-in-law's aunt to help me buy from US to get cheaper price.

Entered the jewelry portion after sometime and I found some pretty but expensive accessories. Some of them cost more than the bag I want. Shucks! I want :(

Indo for good

2010-05-10T12:00:00.007+08:00

I've been in Jkt for about 3 weeks now. I fell ill twice within 2 weeks. Till now, I'm still unsure of the cause of my sickness. Perhaps it was the weather. It's always scorching hot here. The heat is sometimes so unbearable that it'll give me a headache. But thank God I'm perfectly fine now.

I've started working since last Wed. My job is still very little though that I get bored most of the time even when there are games to entertain me. Hopefully my bro will have some time to spare to teach me.

Despite all the fun I have here, I'm still missing Sg very much. I miss the freedom. I miss being able to go out till late night without being afraid to go home alone. I don't need to rely on anybody to drive me around coz I'm still afraid to drive on the busy, overcrowded with cars, road. Most importantly, I miss going to church.

The main thing that I don't like when I'm staying together with my family is perhaps the complains that often comes out from my mom. I guess she needs to learn to be more grateful. I'm so tired to hear her complains about Jun. Everybody seems fine with him except her (and perhaps grandma too).

I don't really wanna bother about this issue though. What I know is that I enjoy being with him and I believe he's one of the many people that God has put in my life for a purpose. So, I'm not gonna start worrying about my future now. I will look forward for it instead.

I'm eager to understand what my purpose is back in Jkt. I'm sure it'll be good.

TOTAL RANDOMNESS

2010-04-04T23:31:00.002+08:00

I am officially unemployed again :)

I am now in the midst of waiting to depart to Jakarta. I actually planned to go on the 11th of April (Sunday). But it'll most probably be postponed due to my uncle who suddenly felt like coming for a check up -.-

I can't wait to go back. I miss my nephew. He's growing without me there and I'm sad. My family told me that he can recognize people already and would get scared of strangers now. So cute! x)

But before I go, I wish to spend some time to hang out with my friends. I'm afraid I might be staying there for good once I returned.

Anyways, I am aiming for this pink colour crocs slippers (picture of the slipper in purple colour shown below). I will most probably be buying it before I leave to Indo. It's so pretty!!! I'm drooling for it! Slurp2.

I will also be buying Liese DIY hair dye back home. I'm bored with my dull looking black hair. I'd wanna try to dye my eyebrow together when I dye my hair. Dunno whether it's safe.

Oh oh... I shall fulfill my A&B before I leave! Yay~

Another oh... I tried this Essential hair mask. It really gives the soft touch after the hair wash. Hopefully it'll help in restoring my damaged hair. I use the yellow bottle, the Ultra Honey & Shea Butter Rich Premier, even though I'd prefer the lovely pink colored one. The yellow hair mask is for damaged hair while the pink is to volumize the hair i think. I'm lovin' it.

For good or not for good

2010-03-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

I almost ended my svc to the company I'm currently working in. My last day was supposed to be last Friday but it got extended coz partly of my own request. I don't know what to feel, I'm half happy but half regretful. Hahaha.

Anyways, my face is clearing slowly but surely. Thank God the pimples didn't leave any scar even though I liked to squeeze them. Sudden stress really caused that much harm to my face. Scary!

Been working for 4 months going 5 now and I'm coping rather well. This month will be the end though. No more postponing. I wanna go back to Indo coz there are lotsa things that I have missed out within this short period of 5 months. But I start to worry when I start thinking the life I will have living under 1 roof with my parents. It'll be quite a tough one.

At the same time, I think I might want to try to work in S'pore again, try other type of job with better pay of coz :D

And next year CHC will move to Suntec Convention Centre level 6 & 7. It'll be super awesome! But I don't know where I'll be in March 2011. I think I'm most probably be in Indo for good by then. Grahhh. I've been in a very big dilemma coz of this going back for good issue. I'm bored of S'pore already but I also enjoy living here. It's like a love and hate kindda thing. Hate this indecisiveness.

Maybe I should go elsewhere. Australia perhaps? Or Canada? Hahaha. My dad would be more than happy to send me to Canada. But to study again? A big no no for me.

Gosh I wanna travel!

GOOD BYE

2010-01-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

Today, I received an sms from Yun, informing me that my uncle had gone.

I had no chance to meet him, even when he fell ill and was hospitalized for the past few days.

Now, there will be lesser noise in that house.

I will miss you so much.

I will never forget the joy you have given me. You were the one who had taught me how to ride a bike. You were the one who had taught me how to enjoy singing.

Thank you unc! I will miss your nagging and irritation.

I will miss your cooking.

Thank you for always being so willing to help my family. Thank you for bringing me to the doctors when I was a kid.

Thanks for everything! You were a great uncle!

I love you!

:')

WORKING ADULT

2009-11-08T16:09:00.002+08:00

15th Oct 2009, my paternal grandpa passed away in HK hospital after he went for a trip to China. On the 19th, my sis-in-law gave birth to my 1st nephew (Justin Wilson Sutanto). On the 20th, I flew back to Jkt coz on the 21st, my dad n uncles n aunties were returning together with my grandpa's body. On the 25th, he was buried. Then I returned to Sg on the 28th. (My b'day went just like that. I even forgotten my own bday for once! That's how bad it was.)

2nd Nov 2009 was the official date that I turned from an unemployed, fresh grad, to a working adult. From the time I got the news about the job offer (before I even flew back to Jkt for the funeral), I had been feeling rather awkward. Things had been passing quite quickly nowadays. My mind is either thinking too fast or too slow. This is odd for me.

Anyways, so I've been working since Monday. On my 1st Fri, I took leave and went to formalize my PR application at the Immigration. The process was amazingly, surprisingly, unexpectedly, extraordinarily FAST! Everything was done in less than 2 hours. All I need to do now is to wait for a week to collect my blue IC. At 1st I was so worried coz I started working before I was even a PR. But thank God for His grace that I wasn't even scolded for it. I was just told to write a simple letter to the officer regarding the reason why I work in advance.

Now that I have a job, I can't wait to taste the joy of getting a paycheck. LOL! I know it's too early to even be thinking about getting paid when I've only worked for 4 days. But I hope my eagerness will produce good performance.

I look forward to go to work coz praise Him for good colleagues. The manager is an Indonesian lady but I'm still afraid to have any communication with her. She treated my 1st lunch though. I bet she's a nice person, despite having an angry looking face, coz my colleagues had fun and even teased her during that lunch break. Hopefully I'll have the courage to be more friendly towards her soon.

Anyways, I'm only under a 6 mths contract. So it's till April next year. After that contract ends, I don't know where I'll be. But for now, I've already planned up some saving scheme that I wanna implement. And I also wanna hang out to treat some ppl. I wanna save up so that I can buy things not only for myself. But I don't wanna over-promise so I'll just str away bless ppl when I have the power to do so.

Whatever it is, He will be the 1st on my list coz He is my provider :)

COUNTENANCE

2009-09-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

Suddenly got the urge to blog about this matter...Countenance. I've no idea why this came to my mind out of a sudden.

I came across friends who once shared with me about how they feel like they are not wanted in the group of friends, that those people formed cliques that exclude them. And some people also feel that they are being rejected by the group, that they don't feel belong and all that stuff. Why is it so?

As I began to ask myself, I began to think of the possible reasons. Perhaps it's the behavior that we have that's too awkward for other people to embrace. Perhaps, we are just simply too egoistic that we won't listen to other people's opinion and we always think that we're right and others are wrong. Or perhaps it's just our feelings?

All those answers are possible, right? But as I think some more, I think our countenance matters way more than all those reasons above. I remember some of my friends told me that my face look kindda fierce when I don't smile. Even when I'm just simply listening to lecturers in school, being a good student coz I was paying attention, I looked fierce. That's why I don't seem friendly or approachable.

Thus, my conclusion is.... We gotta do some assessment about how we portray ourselves to the public. We gotta be aware of how our appearance look like when we are out there, when we're seen by friends or even strangers. Our body language matters, our facial expression matters! It shows our mood, whether we're happy/sad/angry/whatever. So, we got to always show that we're in high spirits in order to attract friends to ourselves. Anyway I don't think I wanna have a friend who always looks tired. I want to be surrounded by people who are always so happy despite being exhausted after a whole day of work.

Positivity attracts, while negativity repels. So I'm gonna try to look more positive and happier every second of my life. Anyway reduced frowning = reduced wrinkles, right? Hahahaha. And life's too short for us to live it with negative aura. So, all the best to me :D

Cheers to happy, full of smiles and laughters, life.

LIFE WITHOUT ANYTHING TO DO

2009-09-16T23:46:00.008+08:00

Yet another entry about how bored I am being unemployed. Many of my friends told me to enjoy my carefree life while I'm still able to. But it is getting wayyyyyy too longgggggggggggg that I can hardly stand this kind of lifestyle any longer. Spending so much time at home, watching so much TV, facing my laptop for the longest time in my life. It's making my head spin, my eyes hurt. Oh btw, my bank and wallet are hurting too! I can barely shop for goodness sake. The worst time of my life would probably be this. Hahaha! That is until I'm faced with another bigger trial in the future.

I have to think millions of times to buy 'not-needed-but-I-want' stuff. I even have to think several times to spend on food. In another point of view, it is rather good coz it'll help me in my diet process. But I still think that this kindda worries are so unnecessary. I'm starting to grow a few strands of gray hairs coz of this!!! Gosh!!!!!!

To make things worse, my family went to Australia today! How I feel like going along with them but I just can't due to circumstances. If I went along, I might as well forget about coming back to S'pore. Oh and if I still haven't got myself employed till end of Nov, I'm doomed too! Coz I'll have to go back to Indo for good. I can't imagine and don't want to anyway. A part of me don't mind going back and be together with family and help my dad's business and all. But another part of me is just not ready yet. I've many reasons that hold me back and one of it has gotta do with religion issue. I hate this. Coz I don't have the courage to voice out regarding my faith and belief to my parents which I know I have to. God give me wisdom. Let me be bold! Let me be able to intro to them the Good News! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the meantime, more job hunting it shall be! Oh no... I'm hungry -.-

GUITAR~

2009-09-09T16:39:00.002+08:00

I'm currently so in love with learning guitar. And by today, I can play 3 songs already! Though the strumming is not perfect yet, but at least I can remember quite a number of keys that I need to press. Teeheee... I'm so happy. As long as there's a will, we'll reach our heart's desires. Thank God I suddenly got the revelation that maybe I should learn how to play guitar not too long ago. Thank God that Yun wanted to buy 1 in the past and that now it's mine ever since she returned to Indo for good. Hehehehe. The 3 songs I can play are: Heart of Worship, I could sing of Your love forever, and Amazing. All 3 use quite simple keys that allows me to learn quickly. I'm gonna go practice the last song again coz I just got it in like a few mins or an hour ago xD Hehehe. Ciao~

HAPPY B'DAY LOUISE LIM JIAYI!

2009-09-07T23:59:00.025+08:00

Celebrated JY's bday today. Went out with her, WL, and Joa to town. Had pasta for our dinner at The Pasta Shop by Sakae at Wheelock Place. I didn't know that the food there is rather nice with a not-so-expensive prices for a big serving! Will recommend friends to eat there next time.

We chatted alot, laughed alot, posed alot for many2 photos taken :p (JY made us to be narcisstic. LOL!) So sad that towards the end of our happy time my digicam's batt couldn't last and it went dead. Bt it managed to take up to about 50-60 photos just for this evening alone! Hahaha!

Thx so much for the laughter. Thx for the Gelatissimo treat, JY! :D Love you and hope you had fun just like I did. Hehehe. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and GOD BLESS!!!

p/s: We'll hang out more often next time. Esp. when I've gotten myself a job (like...finally). Hahaha!

NTH MUCH HAPPENED BT I WANNA BLOG

2009-08-21T19:47:00.010+08:00

WTH happened to my blogger post layout??????? It's got some technical problem and I don't know how to repair it!!!! Joyce used my laptop to blog and hers looked fine. But when it comes to my blog account, it's always got problem. ARGH!!!!

I'm currently waiting for the cell group members to reach my place. Having cell group meeting today!~ Speaking about cell group, the members have been slowly going haywire ever since the multiplication. The group got smaller but the members grew weary. What's happening? Sometimes I wonder, why would the disappointments we get from the people around us affect our relationship with God?

We're talking about God here. The 1 who is never changing. The same yesterday, today, and forever! Whilst Man, on the other hand, will forever be Man. So, our commitment to God shouldn't be affected! We're not perfect. If we are, then we would be God ourselves. Then there's no need to worship Him already. Which is nonsense! So, we should keep our mindset right, remind ourselves often. God is still up there in heaven watching over us no matter where we run to. So, there's no point in running away from Him. Backsliding will not bring us anywhere. It'll only do harm to us. Gosh I've so many thoughts running in my mind regarding this matter. I don't understand how they think! God please wake them up! I'm fed up.

Anyways, I'm still unemployed. Hahaha. I'm bored, even Facebook is starting to bore me. My granny came and went, together with aunt and Yun. Thank God for a speedy recovery after her catarac removal operation. Now I'm starting to hardcore-ly searching for job. I got the sudden urge to just go back to Jkt and help out in my dad's biz. To be together with family is one reason. Another one would be the excitement I could get if I'm there. However, I still think it'd be better for me to at least try to get a job and work here. After all my stubbornness and persistent rejection towards their offer, I need to show my family members what I'm truly made of.

Uhm... I just got asked whether I can join Jun and family for a week's trip to Thailand. I can't!! =( I can't even go for my family tour to Australia! Double sob! So, if I were to go to Thailand and my parents were to find out, I'm dead meat! =p Got no money, how to have fun, right? Hahaha! Gotta get a job and start working!!!!!!!!!! Earn lots and lots of money. Hehehe.

UNTITLED

2009-07-24T18:00:00.004+08:00

Hohoho I rly have no idea of what to blog about. My life's been going rather well but it's just that it lacks of ups or downs... It's been going through the same boring motion coz I'm still jobless. Hahaha. Hopefully my unemployed life would end soon.

Went out with Jiayi a couple of days ago. Had fun. Chatted so much till my mouth went dry and I had a headache. Saw Tiffany & Co. jewelry and I'm drooling over some of them. I shall and will have my hands on at least 1 of their item. LOL!

Have been reading the Bible on the book of Revelation and indeed it's hard to understand the Word. Must rly2 meditate on it n get God's revelation to get the gist. I find the Bible interesting and it's so hard to stop once I start. But if I stop, it's hard to make myself start reading again -.-' Bad habit hard to kill.

LALALA

2009-07-11T23:59:00.001+08:00

I've abandoned this blog for too long. I've been too lazy to blog. Perhaps coz I'm so free nowadays, being a graduate but unemployed and all. Last time I used blogging to run away from all the hectic schedule. Hahaha.

I'm staying in Sg now under Landed PR. Got my LPR in March and it'll only end in March next year. Currently hoping that I would get the job that Chandra referred to me. But so unfortunate that the boss had to be away from Sg for the whole month of July so I gotta wait -.-

Many family members came over to Sg in June. They took turn to come. 1st was my older sis. She went off, then came my mom with granny and my younger bro. Followed by my uncle n family. They too went back then came my older bro with his wife. I had fun, received many blessings be it materials or financial. Thank God for that! :D But good moments are short :( And I want more of those pls? Hehehe.

My younger sis, Yun, is coming in early Aug. And I can't wait for it. I'm excited! We're so gonna camwhore everywhere we can. Gonna chit chat till the cows go home. But we'll be faced with a prob....Granny and aunt who's gonna come together with her. Granny gonna have her catarac operation. Oh ya and also, I'll be working at Chandra's workplace since the boss has return here by then *Fingers crossed* Having to work isn't a bad thing though. So that I'll have a source of income and that I can treat them to small2 stuff instead of getting them to treat me all the time.

Anyways, I want financial independence! :p

Today went to DR. AR Bernard svc. I'm going again tmr. He's just simply an awesome preacher :) I'm also glad that I went to the leader's mtg on Tues. Hope my crystals will turn into revelations again! Hehehe.

BEAUTIFUL AT HIS TIME

2009-05-05T14:26:00.017+08:00

I'm listening to an Indonesian Christian song right now while sending out my resume. The title is "Indah Pada Waktunya" by Edward Chen. It's very motivating for my dried up spirit. I've wondered why isn't there any call by any employer. I've had alot of doubts about many things regarding my incapability in getting a job. My family in Indo is running out of grace after only a month.

Is it coz I'm lazy in sending out resume? Or is it coz I was lazy to stdy in the past that my qualifications aren't that impressive to employers? Is the economy so bad here in Sg that nobody wants to employ me? Or is it more of a spiritual problem like unforgiveness in my heart or unfaithfullness towards God? Many questions like this run through my mind. I can't figure out what the real reason is. Perhaps the answer is a li'l bit of all?

I'm desperate. I wanna show myself and my family that I am able to find a job. I wanna show them that I'm able to survive the jungle and earn myself a living. So many things I've thought of if I were to finally get my 1st job. I've compromised with myself that no matter how much the salary offerred is, I'll just take the job. What I really need is the working experience, the exposure. It's not really about the money.

All these issues, however, don't really make me worry that much after I listen to the song that I'm currently repeating in my iTunes. Maybe God has another plan for me. What I know is, if He takes care of the grass on an unattended field, He'll remember to take care of me. Everything will be beautiful in His timing, not mine. I'll just work hard but at the same time, I won't go against His will. I know He has something great in mind for my life. What I need to do now is to ask Him for the good job while waiting patiently and BELIEVE that my prayer will come to pass.

==I might not understand what I'm going through right now. What I know for sure is that my God's grace won't stop. I lift all my worries up to You, Lord, for I believe everything will be beautiful in Your time==

Indah Pada WaktuNya - Edward Chen
Ada waktu tuk berduka
Ada waktu tuk bersuka
Ada waktu tuk berdiam
Ada waktu tuk berkata

Namun di atas sgalanya
Ku tau Allahku bekerja
Mendatangkan kebaikan
Bagi yang mengasihiNya

Disaat yang ku alami
Tak seperti yang kuingini
Disaat tiada jawaban
Mengapa harus terjadi

Namun di atas sgalanya
Ku tau Allahku bekerja
Mendatangkan kebaikan
Bagi yang mengasihiNya

Mungkin tak kupahami
Apa yang kini aku alami
Namun ku tau pasti
Kasih Allahku takkan berhenti

Kan ku srahkan semua
Pergumulanku padaMu Yesus
Karna kutau pasti
Semuanya kan jadi
Indah pada waktuNya

ALL-IN-1

2009-04-20T15:12:00.009+08:00

I've been procrastinating in updating my blog coz it's just too time-consuming for me to actually think back about the past events and type them all down. Well, I'm just lazy la to put it simply. Hahaha! But as I was reading xx's blog, I suddenly felt the urge to blog. It was coz of that 1 particular sentence said by her bf which I felt is so true and that I share the same view as him. He said this about whether or not we're considered cheating if we go out with other gender when we already have a partner. "If it will upset the other party when they find out, I think it's considered cheating. So if you have to hide it, you shouldn't do it." I totally feel the same way! Isn't it true that when we really believe that our intention to hang out with that person is 100% pure friendship, we wouldn't be afraid to tell our partner about the meet up. In my case, I'd tell my guy even more openly if I were to hang out with some other guy whom he knows or not know. Coz only then there will be openness and trust. Besides, if my guy were to find out from someone else that I was found hanging out with another guy in a mall or somewhere else, my guy can simply tell that nosy person that he already knows. So we won't be backstabbed or somethin' like that you see.

Anyways, enough about this theory of a r/s. I wanna blog about what has happened to me all this while, since I was back in Jkt for CNY till now.

During CNY, I still received quite a lot of angbao despite my age. Hehehe. I witnessed, for the 1st time, solar eclipse at my grandma's house that day and I was fascinated by it. From that day onwards, I realised how my basic knowledge that I learned back in secondary schools have been reducing each day as I grow older.

I was encouraged to not come back to S'pore during V day season despite the air ticket that I've already bought. My family is just... I don't know what to say. It's either they really long for my presence in their midst or they are just looking down on me coz I told them I wanna try finding a job in Sg. Hahaha. Either way, I'm not gonna give up on my plan that readily coz I've paid quite a big sum for my LPR application. But they succeeded in holding me back till beginning of April that I forced my way to get the air ticket to depart from Jkt. Thank God my parents were quite ok and allowed me to buy it. Or else, I'd be back only in June.

Finally I had a stay over at the villa in Bogor together with my parents and my younger bro. It was quiet and peaceful with lotsa greenery surrounding the house. I was wondering how would it feel if I've only 1 sibling. Coz it didn't feel that bad actually. Hahaha!

I was also forcefully brought to follow my mom to many temples. I don't know why she likes to include me in to the praying or going to temples kind of activities. I couldn't say a direct no though coz I had to be filial. So I just followed and helped her carry her stuff and nothing else. Hahaha. Sometimes I would show my irritated face when the weather was so hot. LOL! Well I don't think I'll be changing religion coz she force me to go to the temple. I only can believe when I see examples. And those in my family who claims that they are devoted Buddhist are not showing me good examples. They don't realise that it'd only hurt the image of Buddhism in my mind. Anyways, I still have many other reasons besides this la. Hahaha. The time of the return of Jesus Christ is getting closer, so I don't wanna end up in hell. So.. yeah :)

Had a lot of fun being a guinea pig for Yun to practice on my face and hair. Had lotsa fun shopping and going to malls. Had lotsa fun having fun with my family and doggy.

Finally, returned to Sg in a late night flight which was delayed for hours! Spent Easter in church. Have some things going on with the cell grp and the members. Trying to adapt asap so that I won't be in trouble. I'm still unemployed and actively looking for job. Hopefully I'll get a call for interview soon. Being unemployed is... not nice beyond words. Well mayb coz I have no money. Hahaha. Or else, I'd be having the best time of my life :p

Too Long in Indo Kills Me

2009-03-14T18:43:00.002+08:00

My stay in Jkt has nt been a very enjoyable one. Wanted to return to Sg since V day bt till nw i'm still stuck here in Jkt. Argh! I cant wait any longer! My only hope is for my lpr to be approved asap.

I cant stand the praying that happens quite often n my mom likes to force me to pray coz she knows bout me believing in Christianity. Gosh. She kept on telling me bout Christians being fanatic with the religion when she herself is the 1 being fanatic. Cant stand this crap for too long!

So many things I wanna blog about bt maybe next time. Blogging on cellphone isn't easy. Will b blogging again next time.

=Have nvr felt like getting outta Jkt this bad b4=

GREAT SATURDAY!

2009-01-10T23:34:00.011+08:00

I JUST WANNA SAY THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH PS. JOHN BEVERE! :) :D xD

His msg during today's svc was breath-taking, mind-blowing, life-changing! Well, at least to me, it was. I got my spirit stirred, that I could barely hold my tears. Almost every sentences he said was like a big bang boom in my heart. I managed to get a number of revelations.

It's been quite boring for me to listen to many of the 'impacting the marketplace' or 'cultural mandate' messages coz I don't feel that it's really relevant in my life. Well, it's not that it's not relevant at all, it's just...maybe not yet. And honestly, I've been quite drained and was sorta losing my grip. I let myself just to go with the flow, forgetting about the whole God-given purpose in life and all that kindda stuff.

So, after today... I rly wanna try to become fruitful again for God. I wanna return to His way, rather than my own way. I wanna serve Him once more in any way that I'm able to. I wanna know what His purpose is for creating me to be in this world, for I know that there's more to life than meets the eye. I wanna know what He needs me to accomplish for His kingdom's purpose. I want Jesus to pronounce me as a 'good and faithful servant' during the judgment day. For He'll come back as a judge to judge the living and the dead not by what goals we had accomplished for Him on our own way but by whether or not we had fulfilled our God-given task. A task that God had written on His book even before I was born. I wanna know what that task is and I wanna obey. Lest He moves on to the next person if I ignore His command.

I know that I won't be able to change a 180 degree to a totally new person instantly. But I know as long as there's a will, there's a way. I will try changing my commitment towards God to a higher lever little by little, slowly but surely. God doesn't despise a small beginning, so must I. I really wanna be re-reborn. Hehehe.

-Open my eyes, I wanna see Your glory...Your glory, Lord-

TWILIGHT

2009-01-08T23:45:00.009+08:00

Finally I watched Twilight together with Liang. Spared some time to spend with him since it's been a long time that we haven't meet up. I had fun. It was too short actually but then again... It was alright. At least we managed to catch up on some stuff. Hehehe. Decided to catch that movie coz I was sorta curious as there were quite alot of gd comments about the film.

So here is my verdict... It's a boring show. They say the main actor, the vampire, is handsome. I say... he's not. They say the movie is so romantic... I say it's not either. The action part is so little. The romance is also very little. In fact, it took too long for the main actress to find out about the guy's vampire being. It was so boring and it made me realize even more about how freezing the theatre was. But perhaps the 2nd twilight would be better coz since the girl already know about the vampires and that the enemy is known also, maybe the storyline will be more straight to the point. But then again.... I'm not so sure about it. Hehehe.

Anyways, headed to Spize for dinner with my Indo friends after the movie. So Liang and I separated ways very fast. Hoping for some more meet ups with him the next time round. I'm confirmed going back to Indo from the 18th of Jan till 13th of Feb. The reason why I'd be away for almost a mth is that.... My LPR is still not ready yet and so I'm wasting money if I stay in S'pore without working. And I don't feel comfortable enjoying myself here doing nothing either. I'm bored to death!!! Hahaha. So I think by me going back to Indo can bring about something else better. Maybe creating a better family bond? Hehehe. Had some family problem back in Indo straight after new year's day celebration (without me there, of course =p). So I hope I can lighten everyone's spirit when I'm back there.

I suddenly had a thought about what I think beauty is when I was out on the road to meet Liang. I think that it's really true when people say that beauty lies skin deep. To me... Real beauty should make a girl look pretty:
-Even when she's bald.
-Even if her hair is very straight (as if it got rebonded) or afro.
-When she has absolutely no make up on.
-When she's sleeping and pretty when she just got up from bed.
-No matter if she's fat or thin.
-Even if she has bad skin complexion.
-Even when she wears anything under the weather and doesn't take the extra effort to dress up real fancy.
-When her skin is still tight or when she's already all wrinkled up.

Most importantly, real beauty comes with great character. It has to be from the inside. Only from inside will there be an outward result.

STEAMBOAT

2009-01-02T23:59:00.011+08:00

Had so much fun groceries shopping together with Joyce to feed a total of 8 people during steamboat for dinner over at my place. Hehehe.

Her first time opening a canned food. Hahaha.

Probably her 1st time cutting so much sausages at 1 shot.

My 1st time handling raw prawns.

Members came too early, even before the whole preparations were done.

So much food and most were prepared by Joyce. Well done! :)

Moments before steamboat was ready, while waiting for Enyao to come.

Enyao finally arrived.

Last preparation was to peel the quail eggs.

Finally everything and everyone was ready. All seated nicely in front of the pot.

Those guys standing were real heavy eaters! Two thumbs up.

He can win a prawn-eating competition. And maybe all kinds of other eating competition coz he eats really ALOT despite his skinny body!

He comes in 2nd position.

Cheers to the new year 2009! Oops Teckloon was hidden behind Chrischelle.

The leftover was still alot. It can feed me for the rest of 1 week I guess.

Our 'oh-so-bloated' cg leader.

Played another round of UNO after clearing up, before they all headed home.

I was dead tired after the whole thing coz I had to mop the floor and clear other stuff when everyone had finally went home. But overall, it was a good time of fellowship we had! :D

1ST DAY OF YEAR 2009

2009-01-01T16:30:00.010+08:00

The beginning of a new year means a new chapter of life. Put aside all the bad memories and look up to embrace the bright future ahead of us. I'm getting used to living all by myself now. I was lonely at 1st, but it feels ok now when I know how to take care of myself. I can't always be self-pitying myself, right? Right. :) So, to begin the new year, I made my own lunch. A plate of linguine carbonara! Hehehe. Wanted to have it for last night's dinner but the pan-fried chicken was already too much and so I had to cancel the linguine (Supposed to serve it together with the chicken without the bacon. But since the chicken breast meat was so much, I changed the pasta with a few strips of bacon instead).

As a 1st timer chef for myself had been a wonderful experience. I don't know why some people just don't have the interest to try cooking. It actually gives some sort of achievement to the cook when the food turned out to be delicious. As for myself, my satisfactios is that I got to think about what was lacking in my preparations and ways to make the food better in the future. I need to learn from mistakes. Without trying out, I won't know what is there for me to improve on coz I've never even do anything. So this experience provided me with good lessons.

My goal is to make whoever consumes my cooking happy. Oops I sounded like I'm ready to be a housewife -.- NO!!!! I don't wanna be a normal housewife in the future. I wanna be a successful wife to my husband. There are many things I wanna do in order to make my husband proud of me next time. I want him to be proud having me as his wife xD By that, I'm also making my parents proud. Hehehe. Ohhh what am I saying. Hahahahha!

Anyways... Here's my art piece...

From the top

From the side

Can vaguely see the smoke rising up

Oh it's pouring very heavily now here in S'pore. For Chinese they believe that it's a sign of good luck when it's pouring on happy ocassion. So, I hope that this rain signifies a really good beginning, washing away all the evil in the world. Hehehe. I know it's impossible but I still wanna wish it anyway. Hahaha.

So, Happy new year 2009 again folks!!! Yipeee... May all be happy, healthy, and wealthy :p Don't forget to share the LOVE to the world this year~

NEW YEAR'S EVE + NEW YEAR

2009-01-01T01:55:00.020+08:00

I had the quietest new year's eve and new year ever in my whole 23 years of life!!! Home alone. All i did was to watch the TV while waiting for the countdown to mark the new year when the clock striked 12 o'clock. So bored!!! Some friends did try to ask me out but I already made plans for myself. I wanted to treat myself with some home made dinner. Some dish that's somewhat special and that I won't normally cook. So I turned down their invitations. Sorry guys, didn't mean to.

Anyways... So, to cook myself a good meal, I went ahead buying the groceries by myself at Parkway Parade. Hadn't been feeling that way for the longest time! It was so fun buying groceries. Hehehe. But too bad there was no company so I was rushing here and there to find the ingredients I needed.

I took a basket with me instead of a trolley coz I thought the ingredients were quite little. But I was wrong!!! It turned out to be so heavy that I had to carry the handles with both hands. I'm sure I looked like an idiot. Hahaha. But it's alright. Nobody knows me there. I don't care and I can't care :D

Hurried home after that coz the sky turned cloudy. Rested a while and started my preparation at about 7:30-8pm. So.. This is what I had for my new year's eve dinner.

1. Chicken mushroom soup

2. Fries, bacon, chicken breasts

Accompanied by...

Sparkling white grape juice

Happy new year 2009 everyone! I wish for everything good in the world! I've got several new year resolutions this time and I sure hope that I'll be achieving all of them. Cheers!~

CG APPRECIATION & MULTIPLICATION

2008-12-27T12:57:00.005+08:00

Had a wonderful cgm last night. Celebrated thanksgiving and multiplication at 1 shot. So many tears shed by the members as we will be going to different cell grp. Good friends who used to do things together for the same cg will now have to be separated. This will take some time before everyone can adjust. I realised that I've wasted so much time withdrawing from so many of them and now it'll get even harder to even get to know them well. Ppl like denise, heshen, xiangrong, weiling, joa, limei, jingwen, george, n others who are gonna be in different cg...I didn't grasp my chances to really have a good chat with them. Some of them are beginning to open up to me and I was liking it. Hopefully, we won't be a 'hi-bye' friend when we meet up.

Anyways, I couldn't express myself well last night during the breaking of the bread coz I was holding back my emotions and tears till I had a terrible headache. So lemme type down my appreciation to those whom I gave my bread to.

Enyao, thx for guiding me ever since the 1st time I joined the cg. Thx for your concern about my personal matters. And thx for being excited about me being in your cg. I believe you're gonna be a good cgl and I hope I can be a blessing for you by being a good member :)

Wesley, I really thank God that you've finally decided to come back to God n to the cg. I really hope that next time, no matter what troubles you're faced with, you'll still hold on and look up. Don't ever have the thought of backsliding coz you won't find the answer and peace if you do. It'll only make matters worse.

Joyce, thx for always praising me behind my back. There are times that I felt obligated to help with heavy heart but you still appreciate me so much. Thx for trying your best to show your care and concern to me. I know it must be hard coz I'm not being easy towards you. But I really appreciate you and I love you. No matter what complaints I have about you in my heart, I still love you. Sorry if I'm often mean to you, made you scared several times. I guess we gotta open up more to each other :D

Jun, thx for the changes you've shown me so far. Thx for being patient and understanding to whatever nonsense I'm giving you. Thx for always holding me when I feel like running away from reality. Sorry for my bad attitude. My lips may speak mean words to you but I want you to know that I love you from the bottom of my heart :)

Limei, there are many things I wanna thank you about. From the start, you've been like a young guardian to me. Childish but always strong, physically and spiritually. Hehehe. I still remember how you always wanted to help me carry whatever I was carrying, no matter how heavy those were. It's always easy to open up to you coz you 1st opened up to me. I felt relaxed to confide in you about anything. It's also easy to listen about you life and give comments to you coz you accepts feedbacks open heartedly. Thx for the love that you and your whole family have showered me with. And I want you to know that my phone will always be free if you wanna talk :D We may be in a totally different cg now but I believe that this won't be a barrier for us to keep our friendship strong till the end.

Jiayi, I can't thank you enough la!!! Hehehe. From the beginning till the end, you've always been such a gd friend and a gd cgl to me. I know I'm not an easy cg member even until now. But you never give up on me. Thx for all your encouragements be it in my walk with God or with my studies in the past. You've been a great help and I really thank God for you. Sry for the misunderstanding I had about you the last time, it must've hurt you. From then on, I learnt a valuable lesson. Well in fact, you always provides me with valuable lessons every now and then. Hahaha. Anyways, I wanna thank your family too for always opening the house for me to stayover. It's been great working together with you :D Our friendship won't stop here, will it? Thx for being such a great blessing in my life. I love you!!!!

For other members whom I didn't give my bread to, it doesn't mean that they're inferior. I still appreciate them alot and I love them as my brothers and sisters in Christ.

PRAY PART 2

2008-12-17T08:59:00.005+08:00

Morning prayer mtg just ended not too long ago. It went smoothly and thank God nobody snored :p

A number of new faces joined us for the PM and I was surprised to see Heshen and Xiangrong came together with Limei. I suddenly feel that maybe a big breakthrough for W193 is waiting directly outside and knocking on the door right now. It has come sooner than we thought. We just need to open the door and embrace that 'guest' into our lives. We gotta act, and the opening up of door is the action. Without action, nothing can be done. With the opening up of the front door, we gotta close the back door at the same time so that nobody will be able to leave. Hehehe. Sounds evil but it's for their own good.

Hopefully these 2 new guys will get even more committed to the cg and be able to open up more to the other members (such as myself :p). They're such cutesies! Love them! :)

Tmr is the last day of the morning PM. So... All the way, guys in W193 and E246!!!!

PRAY PART 1

2008-12-17T07:17:00.006+08:00

Morning prayer meeting at my house since yesterday all the way till tmr.

Xmas is just about a week away and the cg is coming together to pray for open hearts (thank God it's in my hse :p). In unity we sacrifice our sleep. It takes alot of effort to force ourselves to get up and prepare for such an early prayer mtg. It's supposed to start at 7am till about 8. But since they have to travel from all parts of S'pore, most of them are late. However, I know that many of them didn't even sleep at all last night. So many things they wanna prepare for their loved ones in order to get them saved. Hoping that our friends and family members will get blessed this xmas.

So, OPENED HEARTS I PRAY!!! OPENED UP THE WINDOWS OF HEAVEN I PRAY!!!

NOTHING NEW

2008-12-12T01:50:00.005+08:00

Alright..So my EPEC application was rejected due to only God knows what. I'm not discouraged coz I'm putting my faith n hope in my LPR now. But the process of getting my LPR approved is still so far away coz the average processing time will take about 3-4 months. With God's grace, hopefully I'll be one of the fortunate few who gets the LPR in less than 3 or even 2 months. So for the time being, I only can wait and see how thing goes.

My sis came over for a long weekend and she brought so much fun in such a short while! We took a ride at the S'pore flyer capsule and went for some drinks at Clinic, Clarke Quay. I've been wanting to try out that place for so long and it finally came to pass. Hehehe. Oh another good thing was... My dad passed her some money to give to me :D I'm so grateful coz I was penniless! I'm still waiting for an employer to just give me something to do right this instant! I need to earn some income or else I'll die due to stress of not finding a job, hunger coz no money to eat due to unemployment, and also die of boredom coz I've nothing to do. Grrrrrr!

SHOPPING

2008-12-03T00:09:00.004+08:00

Went shopping with JY and Joa on Sunday. Walked like I've nvr walk before. Drop dead tired!!! But it was productive. Finally bought a pair of high heel shoes meant for working. And also bought a pair of new sandals. Don't know why only when I shop with certain people then I'd manage to buy things.

Sale is in the air here in S'pore. That's coz X'mas is around the corner. Thank God Jesus was born. Or else, there won't be any X'mas right? Hehehe.

The sad case now is that I'm financially crippled T-T For me to consider buying office attires is also not as easy as it used to be when I was still a student. This is tiring! Sobs! How am I gonna get xmas presents for my loved ones???

I better get that EPEC. I better get that LPR approved soon. I better be working fast! Arghh!!! I'm so powerless at the moment.

POST-ASIA CONFERENCE

2008-11-28T19:00:00.007+08:00

Asia Conference was a HIT! Went to almost all of the services but missed a few morning ones coz I was exhausted and sleepy to wake up too early.

It was beyond what I had imagined and I got so blessed by the messages. And boy am I glad or what? Hehehe. Can't wait to attend the 2010 conference that Ps. Kong had planned.

Felt kindda lost once the conference was over though. It was almost like a new chapter of a book with different story altogether. I had to wake up and get back with my usual life again.

And so I did. Searched for job vacancies on the net. Sent several resumes. Nothing much to do actually. I received 2 phone calls within a few days upon submitting my resumes. Went to 1 interview and it was rather a positive one. Was told that there'll be a 2nd interview for me and next Wed the director of the company will be informing me again about the upcoming interview.

Keeping my fingers crossed for now.

P.S. I LOVE YOU

2008-11-18T22:58:00.005+08:00

Watched P.S. I Love You on my laptop coz Yun suggested that I should watch it. She assured me a bucket of tears and it was true. I loved that movie. I love the story. I love it from beginning till the end.

Yun told me that once I've watched the movie, I'd wish for a boyfriend similar to the main lead actor. And I know why she said that after I had done watching. He was so sweet! He loved his wife so much that even though she got mad unreasonably, he still loved her alot! The best part is... He showed his love so clearly to her even after he died.

I love the part where he straight away re-enter their home after he walked out from an argument and apologized. I love the part where he said "I wanna wake up every morning and the 1st thing I do is look at you" to his wife. I love the part where he never failed to say "I love you" to her. And many other sweet words that he said which I can't remember. I love the part where he cuddled her from the back while she was asleep. I'd melt if my guy is like that. I don't need sweet nothings or praises. But I don't mind those kindda words which give so much assurance that yes I really2 do love you till the ends of time, no matter what happen.

The movie's so touching yet humorous. I love! I wonder many times about Caucasians. Are the guys always that sweet, thoughtful, gentle, loving, tender, romantic, and other-sweet-ingredients-all-combined-together? Or is it just in the movies? Are there any Asians like those in the movies? Those with real and not bad intentions. I'd really love to meet that one in a million guy. Hahaha.

EUROPE PICS

2008-11-03T23:59:00.002+08:00

Tour photos
Jakarta

Frankfurt Budapest
Vienna Prague / Praha Dresden BerlinBayreuthMunich

Salzburg
Innsbruck

St. Moritz

Lugano Varese Zermatt
Matterhorn

Interlaken

Zurich

EAST EUROPE & SWISS TOUR

2008-10-16T22:55:00.006+08:00

Returned from my East Europe & Swiss tour since Mon 13th of Oct. So many pretty places I saw, photos as many as 1200+ were taken. But I'm lazy to blog bout it. It was a tiring journey coz we were brought to too many cities till I couldn't remember the flow of the tour properly anymore even when we were still on tour.

The trip went like this... from Jakarta, we flew to S'pore for 1hr+ transit. Then flew to Frankfurt for another transit. Roam there for a while and then flew again to Budapest. From Budapest, we went to Vienna, Prague, Dresden for a while, Berlin, Bayreuth for a while, Munich, Salzburg, Innsbruck for a while, St. Moritz, Lugano for a while, Varese, Zermatt & matterhorn snowy mountain, Interlaken, Zurich for a while. Then flew back to Jakarta via S'pore.

Within 2 weeks, travelled here and there... My legs worked hard. Not forgetting my butt which sat so much during bus journeys. I was quite sick of having that kind of bus rides where I had to sit for as long as 4 hours or more. There was some toilet stops in between though. That would be the time I could do some stretching and shop for li'l things. Hehehe. There weren't many free public toilets available btw, the price of entering a public toilet could reach up to €1 of €0.50 per person. That was shocking. Lucky for me I don't need to visit toilets that often. Hehehe.

Anyways, Europe has beautiful sceneries and there were many historical places such as old Catholic churches or castles. The temperature was freezing at some cities that it was as low as 2 degrees Celcius. But 2 or 3 cities were so-so with the sun shining so brightly, but it was helped by the blowing cold wind.

Uhm.... I don't know what else to say about the trip except it was FUN! and I want more! Hehehhe. My mind and soul are still there except my body which already returned to the hot Jakarta T-T

I'm lazy to upload the photos here now coz it'd take me so long to choose several nice ones out of the thousands of them available. Some were uploaded to my friendster already. Maybe next time when I feel like it I'd post the photos alone.

EUROPE!!!

2008-09-28T13:17:00.002+08:00

In a few more hours, I'll be outta Jkt that's steamingly hot to somewhere that's freezingly cold. Hehehe. I can't wait much longer! Just bring it on already!!! Wonder how it'd be like over there. Hopefully the flight would be a smooth one.

I'll watch lotsa movies during the journey, and sleep alot :p

I'm so tired right now. Woke up at 6am coz of mom. I just feel like resting at home before the tour to prevent exhaustion. My throat is killing me. It's so dry that it made me lose my voice. I'm lazy to speak right now but sometimes I'm forced to scream. *Sigh*. Perhaps I should lock myself in a room, alone, so that I don't have to open my mouth. Who knows my voice will get better by tomorrow. Hahaha.

MY THOUGHTS

2008-09-24T23:40:00.004+08:00

1) Living near family is kindda pissing me off sometimes.

2) Can't understand why the old people in my family like to ruin the young ones' plans.

3) I really love shopping, especially with the right group of shopping pals.

4) I hate staying in Indonesia for too long coz I eat way too often or much here when I don't walk that much.

5) Driving in Indonesia can make me cry blood. Perhaps the stress would help me increase my low blood pressure. Gotta drive more often to get used to the traffic here.

6) I miss S'pore.

7) I can't wait for 29th September to come.

8) Europe here I come!!!

9) Heard that there are lotsa pickpockets around in Europe.

10) I wonder what would I see and buy while touring the country.

11) Gotta take lotsa pics. Gotta remember to buy some things back for friends and family.

12) Btw, so many people passed away when I'm back in Indo. And weddings too.

13) My bro is happily married for more than 2 weeks now. While my cousin is getting married tomorrow. Days are so busy over here.

14) Wonder when shall I return to S'pore?

MIDNIGHT SHOPPING

2008-09-21T01:24:00.009+08:00

I had a tiring day today at a mall. Stayed there for 5-6 hours or so to wait for the midnight sale which starts only from 9pm till 12 midnight. Reached Senayan City after late lunch at about 3pm and shopped at the department store till 8 plus pm. Started queueing at around 8 30pm. Walked here and there but didn't manage to find good stuff except for maybe 2 or 3 items (which I bought in the end :p).

Tired but happy. This is what I call satisfaction! Heheheh. I don't mind doing this kind of shopping some other time. Not only it makes me excercise, I'll also get new good stuff at cheaper prices! Hahaha. Discounts start from 20% and can be up to as much as 50%! Who would wanna miss that?

The dept store got so crowded towards evening, after the Muslims break their fast. Thank God I reached early and managed to have a peaceful fitting on clothes coz when people started swimming into the store, the fitting room was flooded. When the clock striked 9pm, the cashiers were bombarded by people who had several types of looks queueing to make their payments. Some were happy, tired, pissed due to the long queue, and many other expressions were seen on their faces. Me, with some other people such as Yun, aunt and my cousins, were the 1st to be on the queue at one of the cashiers. We were obviously delighted to be the 1st. We even chatted with the staff while waiting for 9pm to come.

When the announcement was made that the sale had started, we were so noisy as if new year celebration had come. Embarassing but it was okay. At least we made the staff laughed with our jokes before their battle with the customers started.

Too bad we went with too many people, from the young till the old ones. It was so troublesome to shop with too many people from those 2 category at 1 go when the mall is crowded and many movements are required coz they get tired and hungry so easily. But it was alright coz we went separate ways when they went for dinner. Hahaha! But I wasted some time due to aching legs and sat down instead of browsing for some more goodie. Thus, I still have to do some more shopping coz I didn't manage to buy some stuff that I need.

Next time it shall be :D

BORED

2008-09-13T00:08:00.015+08:00

I'm too lazy to blog!!!! I'm so pissed at myself. Hahaha. Anyways, Just wanna announce that I've finally graduated from SIM! It was actually on the 29th of August 2008 but I didn't have the time to blog about it yet till now. I made a short trip to S'pore from 25th till 30th of August just to go for the convocation. It didn't interest me much actually but my dad urged me to go, just like Jy. And so, I went... Was so unexcited coz of the scoldings I got from going there. The date of graduation was so late and it hindered the process of getting my Visa for the Europe trip. My dad was the one who got stressed from handling it and that was why he scolded me. I really regretted going to S'pore. But I went anyway coz I've already bought the air tickets. He scolded me again coz of the expensive budget airline ticket. *Sigh*

My short trip at S'pore wasn't that enjoyable btw. Was busy shopping for other ppl back in Indo. I was tired, we were all tired. But thank God I had some fun. Heehehehe. Didn't manage to hang out with cg friends though. Sry guys.

Anyways, my graduation day pics weren't that much. But here goes nothin'...

And finally.... My all-time supporter coincidentally returned to S'pore that day! I can't thank her enough for all her supports and that had helped me pull through the difficult struggles during exam :DI returned to Indo 1 day after the convocation. Thx Jy for your help, collecting my gown and stuff :) I was glad that Yun and my aunt accompanied me there as well.

The next big thing was my bro's wedding on the 5th of Sept 2008 at Shangri-La Hotel and I became the bride's maid. It was such an exciting experience though many angry moments occurred. LOL.

My hair was adorably and creatively pinned up and twirled around. I liked it. It looked like this from the back...

So busy till I forgot to take any fun pics using my cellphone. Cldn't bring anything on my hand coz I had to keep a very close eye on the bride. *Sigh* I didn't even take any pics even though I stayed over for a night at the hotel. Sheesh! Too exhausted already I guess. Hehehe.

Hopefully my next big thing would be the trip to East Europe with my family :) Coming this 29th Sept. Praying hard for Yun's and my Visa will be granted by the country's embassy soon.

LIFE IN INDO SO FAR

2008-08-09T12:33:00.002+08:00

Haven't been having the urge to blog ever since I'm back in Indo. But now I've some free time in office b4 lunch. So... I wanna share about my life here just a lil bit. So far... It's not been as exciting as I had planned or imagined it would be. This kind of life is inevitable whenever I'm together with the whole family. In my imagination back in S'pore was way better but the reality is trully unpredictable. I hate it!

Arguments and miscommunications I detest are almost a daily dosage. Sickening!

This kindda thing is the only motivation for me to go back to S'pore and have the same freedom I had. True enough there are times I feel like staying here for good coz of some reasons. Perhaps it's lazyness or fear of the unknown of working life in S'pore. But I think I'll still try out and be bolder in order to be independent and have more power in everything I do.

Anyways, lunch time now. I gtg and continue next time when I've the mood and opportunity again. Ciao!~

INDONESIA

2008-06-29T17:30:00.003+08:00

Haven't been able to blog ever since I'm back at Indo. Fact is, I can't go online at all coz the limit of the internet bandwith available has all been used up by Yun even before I reached Indo -.- Quite a number of photos I wanna post up here but it has to be the next time I blog. For now, I'mma summarise what had happened all this while.

1. All of us were busy going back and fro to LV coz mom and granny had too many things they wanted to do there, like exchanging bags etc. while we were still in S'pore. Btw, I got 1 bag at last :p

2. Busy searching for wedding stuff for my big bro.

3. Returned to Indo and headed straight to a restaurant for dinner cum celebrating Yun's bday.

4. My grandpa passed away the next day (20th June '08).

5. Busy with the funeral and the praying etc.

6. Had my haircut at last! :D

7. Will still be preoccupied with my grampa stuff but there will be some shopping done :D

Till next time~

MIXED UP

2008-06-11T22:13:00.009+08:00

Things that had happened since a few wks ago till now...

1) Went to KL from 1st till 5th of June.

Met up with them early in the morning to go to JB and then take a bus to KL

In the bus towards KL

In Genting Skyway

At Pavilion after Genting

The cinema at Pavilion is somewhere up there

Decorated road like Orchard Rd's during Xmas but with traffic jam. There's Planet Hollywood there, the rounded shining red word

Outside a cinema in Sunway pyramid

Pretty Sunway Pyramid ceiling

KLCC tower from afar. Yet again I didn't have the chance to take a picture of myself with it *Sigh*

2) Returned to S'pore. Went to Sat svc, skipped the overnight with the zone. Joined the Neos camp on Sunday. Fetched mom, granny and lil bro at airport at evening.

3) Went to parkway the next day (Mon), did some grocery shopping. Let mom, granny and bro meet Jun. Was surprised with their positive response (except with my shy bro who went overboard with his shy-ness).

4) Went to Takashimaya (Tues) and mom spent thousands of dollars on some stuff for several people (I'm 1 of them :p). Can't reveal what stuff yet coz wanna keep it a secret from Yun. Hahaha!

A blurred view of the stuff. Will be revealed when I'm finally back at Indo.

5) Went to Chinatown (Wed) and ate so many times today. LOL! Was tired from shopping for my big bro's wedding stuff coz had to carry so many things. So troublesome this Chinese tradition. Didn't manage to buy anything much for myself except for my cleanser and conditioner to be brought back to Indo.

SICK!

2008-05-28T23:33:00.003+08:00

God I'm so sick of being sick!!!! Grrrrr!!!!!

Had a rather severe headache a couple of days ago, which led to a slight fever. And now?? I'm down with a really bad flu!! It's always this evil cycle.

I've been sneezing my nose off! Gosh!!! And I've been blowing trumpet all day at home. Geez I really2 hafta see a doctor to check on my nose coz it's been quite a while since the last time I had a comfortable nose (only God knows when was it).

Hopefully I'll recover by tmr coz I've so many great plans ahead of me. And it needs me to be physically healthy in order for the plans to run smoothly. Argh!!! I hate this terrible feeling of falling ill! :(

CHC INDONESIAN NIGHT

2008-05-26T02:22:00.010+08:00

Another lagged entry. Hehehe. I actually have so much free time to blog but I'm just too lazy to do so.

Anyways.... CHC held an indonesian night at the jurong west premise on the 16th of May, and it was awesome! I was reluctant to go at 1st but since Enyao was going too, I thought I'd give it a shot and went along with him in the end. I didn't regret every second of my decision to go there. At all! I would've regretted not going instead.

The event went like this... 1st, we were provided with Indonesian cuisine dinner catered from an indonesian restaurant. The food was quite nice (picture below).They also provided 2 indonesian sauces on some of the table. The chilli sauce and the sweet soy sauce (picture below).I went together with Enyao and Jun (picture below. Poor quality coz I used the secondary camera of my mobile phone). There I saw many2 other Indonesians but didn't manage to get any new friends. Hahaha.
After the fellowship, we went down to the auditorium coz the main event had started. We started with praise and worship in Indonesian. Goodness me... I didn't know praising and worshipping God in my main language gives a different impact. It gave me more feeling and it was easier for me to get myself into His presence.

After the p&w, they played a show about Indonesia. I suddenly missed home. They also get some ppl to share testimony in Indonesian. Then there was a group of 3 female singers who sang live so beautifully. After that, Ps. Kong shared his msg in English. After the whole thing had ended, we were provided with supper...Satay the Indonesian style!!!! I didn't manage to eat any though coz the meeting ended very late. If I stayed for the free and not so expensive satay, I would've to take a cab ride home which would gonna be so costly. And so, I was wise and not greedy. Hehehe.

The whole event made me remember to pray about my own country, my spiritual heritage, where I belong. I may complain about how bad my country is at times, but I still do feel more belong there. I miss Indo alot even though the ppl there aren't nice, the weather there is scorching hot, the traffic jam can make me grow grey hair, or the air pollution can choke an asthma-ist till he or she dies.

No matter what, I'm still an Indonesian. No matter how corrupted or ruined the country is, or the government or whatever, I still am proud to have been borned there. Hehehe. Gosh I suddenly turned to be patriotic. Hahaha.

JJVL DAY OUT

2008-05-18T23:26:00.005+08:00

This is a very lagged post. Once again JJVL met up and headed to Mushroom Pot for dinner on the 8th of May '08. I'm so glad I asked L about this meeting. As usual, he went on with arranging the meeting date and time. He's so reliable :D I'll just post some photos here. Didn't take pics of the food though, coz we were all quite hungry and quickly digged the food once each one of them was served to our table.

Hopefully there'll be another chance to meet up before I return to Indo :D Let's meet again JJL!!!

I'M FREE!!!

2008-05-09T13:26:00.025+08:00

Many weeks had passed. I was too busy studying for my final exam that I could hardly find the time to blog. But now, not anymore~ I can blog 3 times a day if I want to! :p

The past few weeks, it had been challets at each other's houses. Hahaha. I stayed overnight at JY's and she stayed at mine too. We took turns. I'm so gonna miss these days. Now we won't be able to have stayovers even during our holidays. *Sigh*

Anyways...Photos!!!

Stayover at JY's

Stayover at mine

This is the end of my life as a university student. I wanna keep this in memory by taking a photo of my mindmapped notes. All was well and I'm glad that I went through it :)

p/s: Many thx to all my schoolmates who had helped me in going through many trials together successfully. I really appreciate and glad to have known all of them.

Now that I'm done with my studies, I'm beginning to wonder about my future. There are many options but I'm still not sure which path is gonna be my final choice. I hope I would surely come back here to S'pore. There are just too many things that I'm attached to here. I just can't let everything go that easily. I really gotta pray about this and I hope the plan that I've been thinking of will come to pass.

1 DOWN

2008-04-26T23:59:00.001+08:00

1 paper done, 2 more to go.

Investment paper was a total murderer. I've never done this before in my whole life, spending only a mere 2 hours or so for sleeping coz I had to revise on my investment subject. It was my 1st time! Ever! I didn't even do that when I had my O levels! Gosh. So now my eyes are so heavy. I probably will snooze directly once my head hit the pillow. Hahaha.

I was worried, afraid I might fail that module. I even prepared the worst-case scenario already, Planned on what module I should take in exchange of the failed investment. Hahaha. I planned to inform my dad beforehand also. So as to help in preparing himself to hear the news once I get my results.

But, deep inside, I wasn't that scared to be honest. I guess coz I know that it is small compared to Him. Hehehe. I just have to depend on Him. Anyway whatever I asked from Him last night came to pass during the exam. Just that the Qns weren't so similar to the past yr papers. Oh yeah, come to think of it, I didn't pray for that anyway. LOL! So..yeah that's about my 1st paper. Hopefully I'd get at least a credit the worst.

2 more to go. And, believe me, I'm already feeling the excitement of the nearby holidays. Heeheheheee. I cant wait for 8th of May to come. I can't wait for MC paper to be done. Then I'll be left with WER paper only! And I'd be in cloud 9, waiting to sit for that WER paper. The last paper is a morning one. So I can hit the street directly once I step outta the exam hall! Yipee!!!

I truly am impatient for this! Heeheehee. I wanna shop! There are so many things on my needs and wants list. It's just getting longer with each passing day. Hohoho. This freaks me out coz I'm financially disabled. Help!!~

CONGRATULATIONS!

2008-04-17T23:59:00.027+08:00

My bro msg-ed me in MSN out of a sudden. I thought he just wanted to chat. But little that I knew, he asked me whether I wanna see his pre-wedding photos instead. I was so excited to browse them! Exhilarating!

The pictures turned out to be magnificently brilliant and brilliantly magnificent! Some of my preferred ones are saved in my laptop and I'm gonna post them here. The photos are so nice, they almost made me tear. I get emotional when I see people getting married :') Hopefully I won't burst into tears when I'm serving as the bride's maid on the wedding day itself (which I think I most probably will).

Can't believe that my bro is gonna have his own family soon. You're gonna be independent, living in your own little haven, with your little angel, in the near future. Sobs. Congrats bro! :) Wish you'll have the heaven on earth when you've start your own family. Don't forget to maintain our relationships as a family, ok? Hehehe. I might tag along during your honeymoon trip, for all you know~ Hahaha! I heard you choose Japan for your honeymoon? Why Japan? Why not Paris? I think it's more romantic there? LOL!

My top 3 favourites are......

.
.
.
.

pstttt..... I'll wish for your baby as soon as the wedding dinner is done! Mwahahaha! I can't wait long for the presence of a cute li'l baby to be around (after my li'l bro that is, who has grown so much bigger than I used to remember).

E-MAIL

2008-04-13T22:09:00.004+08:00

Got these sentences from an e-mail sent by a friend. I find them very nicely quoted hence I'mma copy them down here.
-----------------------------------------------
Never cry for any relation in life.
Coz for the 1 whom you cry
Doesn't deserve your tears.
And the 1 who deserves
Will never let you cry.
-----------------------------------------------
Treat everyone with politeness,
Even those who are rude to you.
Not coz they're not nice,
But coz you're nice.
-----------------------------------------------
Never search your happiness in others,
Which will make you feel alone.
Rather search it in yourself.
You'll feel happy even if you're left alone.
-----------------------------------------------
Always have a positive attitude in life.
There's something positive in every person.
Even a stopped watch is right,
Twice a day.
-----------------------------------------------
Happiness always looks small
When we hold it in our hands.
But when we learn to share it,
We realize how big and precious it is.

HAIR

2008-04-12T23:59:00.001+08:00

I'm having a good hair day today. And I'm happy about it :D That's why I blog it down. I hope my hair can be like this every day, forever. LOL!

SOME PPL SAY

2008-04-10T21:42:00.007+08:00

Some people told me...

That I'm fortunate
That I'm rich
That I'm pretty
That I'm photogenic
That I'm sweet
That I'm fat
That I'm not that fat
That I've thick eyebrows
Taht I've good complexion
That I'm fierce
That I'm sarcastic
That I'm not friendly looking
To build my self-esteem
To think more positively
To soften my heart
Not to be stubborn
To be more hardworking
To slim down
That I don't need to go on a diet
That my mind is slow
That I'm slow
That I can sing well
That I can cook rather well
That I'm a good daughter
That I've good parents

Other people are better judges of my outward being. As for my internal? Only God knows me well enough, inside out. I myself don't even know exactly how am I like.

BERJANJILAH UTK SETIA

2008-04-04T23:58:00.002+08:00

Kau mungkin bukanlah sesuatu yang baru dalam hidupku
Dalam pencarian cintaku, wujudkan mimpi-mimpiku

Karna dahulu engkau pernah menjadi kekasih hatiku
Perhiasan dalam mimpiku mewarnai seluruh hidupku

Berjanjilah kau setia bila kau jadi kekasihku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia bila kau masih mencintaku
Berjanjilah kau setia untuk menyayangi aku lagi
Berjanjilah kau setia s'lama kau masih disisiku

Semoga hasrat ini abadi untuk s'lamanya
Semoga cinta ini 'kan s'lalu ada

WHERE'S THE LOVE?

2008-04-03T14:10:00.004+08:00

Why do people have the tendency to act before they think?

Why do people choose regreting over preventing? Why do they choose to commit the mistakes first and deal with it later instead of thinking twice before committing it?

Why do people tend to forget to think about how others would feel if they hurt them? Why is there a tendency for a failure to put ourselves in other's shoes? Is it plain ignorance? Is it mere selfishness? Or is it to selfishly gain satisfaction first and then try to make everything okay by pretending nothing had happened?

I get tired of always trying to satisfy others. I am tired of always thinking of others' feelings first before myself. Coz all I get is just hurt and dissapointment. Is there anyone who can do the same to me? Who can protect me wholeheartedly? I don't need so much of a physical protection, I need emotional protection. Protect my feelings...my trust. If there isn't anybody who can do that, then I'll choose to protect myself.

With time, the wound in my heart will heal. But don't expect it to return to how it used to be. I'll not be the same person after you've hurt me. I learn from mistakes. And I'll build my own shield as a protection.

Perhaps I should be more epxressive. Or perhaps I should become the other way round, conceal everything and keep everything for myself and God. Which way will be better? I tried both ways. But neither seemed to work.

Human is just a complicated being.

Don't try to find me when it's all too late. Don't show your compassion when it's all been done. Don't tell me your effort only after I'm gone. I gave you chance after chance but you just blew them all. It was easier in the beginning but you just wanna make it more difficult and perhaps challenging. I won't demand much in the beginning but everyone seem to fail it. At the end of the day, they have to struggle much harder to gain my trust again. I gave freely at first, but now there gotta be something for you to pay for my trust. It's not worth it *Sigh*

I don't wanna cry the tears of sorrows anymore. I wanna cry coz of joy instead.

UNTITLED

2008-03-30T02:01:00.002+08:00

Skrg semuanya udah keluar. Semua fakta udah ketauan. Apa yg mesti gw pilih? Ternyata semuanya bnr2 d luar perkiraan gw. Apakah salah terlalu gampang mempercayai org? Ternyata bnr2 pepatah 'jgn memandang buku dr luarnya' itu bnr banget. Sebenernya gw dah pernah ngalamin n dah pernah janji k diri sendiri utk jgn terlalu gampang percaya org. Tp knp gw tetep kena jg? Sebodoh itukah gw?

Pengen bgt ngga sendiri pas saat2 begini. Sepi banget deh. Pikiran gw buntu. Ngga tau mesti gmn. K siapa kah gw bs terbuka skrg? Pengen balik jkt bgt rasanya. Kangen ama ortu, ama cc kk, ama iyun (terutama), ping2, ama mersi. Hiks2! Bs ngga yah gw stay d sg stelah gw graduate dr sini? Jadi kepikiran.

Mungkin lebih baik klo gw bnr2 for good d jkt aja yah? Memang bklan byk rintangannya sih d sana. Tp plg tdk, gw ngga bkl merasa kesepian. Plg tdk klo rmh kosong, tetep ada mersi buat tmnin gw. Hehehe. Ngga kae skrg. Kaenya ima pun udah abandon gw. Hiks! Oh iyun!!!!!!! Knp elo tinggalin gw sendiri? Gw jd inget klo pagi2 gw suka gangguin elo supaya elo bgn. Terus gw suka kepoh2 pas elo ceting d kmr sebelah. Skrg gw tinggal sendirian. Lama2 bs jadi kae orgil kli yah...Ngmg k diri sendiri. Ngmg k udara.

Emang sih pas ada si iyun, gw stress. Sering marah2in dia. Tp plg tdk, dia itu dah kae sodara n tmn gw yg plgggg deket. Drpd sepi begini, gw lebih milih stress marah2in dia deh. Skrg mau marah pun ngga ada yg bs d marahin. Nyesel nya gw.

Ngeliat 1 rmh gelap, kae ngga ada yg idup d dlmnya, gw ngerasa hampaaaa bgt. Sering kepikiran...apakah gw bs ngejalanin hidup sperti ini? Brp lama kah gw bs bertahan? Gw jadi ngga ada gairah utk ngapa2in. Apalg buat skul. Gmn dong? Gawat bgt nih...pdhl dah tinggal bbrp minggu lg gw dah exam. Arggghhh!!! Gw ngga mau fail. Gw ngga mau sampe mesti repeat subject apapun. Udah empet gw. Pengen cptan tamat then balik indo aja. Enjoy. Hehehe.

Duh kangen berat ama mersi. Bnr2 cuma dia yg bs show gw real love. Walopun dia cuma anjing. Memang kdg2 punya anjing lebih baik drpd punya pacar sekalipun. Hehehe. Coba aja gw ada duit, gw pelihara 1 d sini buat tmnin gw. Hehehe. Pasti lucu deh.

LIKE YOU, LIKE YOU NOT

2008-03-26T13:39:00.008+08:00

I used to wonder how does it feel for a girl to have so many guys wooing them. It must've feel good, she must've feel like she's so pretty, treated like a princess, must've feel so proud for being herself, etc. I often envy those girls who can attract guys so easily without being the prettiest in the universe (sometimes, without being pretty at all). I always wonder what's their attraction, what's the particular factor that can make guys so mesmerized, so dying to get them, act so stupidly nice (and some are fake) during the wooing period. I wanted to have a taste of it all. Bt my elder sis used to tell me that it ain't nice. Some guys are just sooooo weird that she got scared. I had to help her answer phonecalls and lie to the guy who was chasing after her. She was always in the toilet back at those time. Hahaha. Once, my aunt picked up a call from a guy and told him that my sis was swimming. There's nothing wrong except it was in the middle of the night. I recall it was 11pm!!! Who wld swim in that hour in the condo pool? If it's private pool, then perhaps she would. Anyways....Poor guys. Being weirdos was bad enough, and still got cheated. Hahaha. Love is blind, I guess. Even after being lied to so many times, they still didn't give up. Due to this, I got irritated by them too. But I still thought that it was cool. My sisters are so cool, pretty, so many guys like them. I often envy them.

Bt I was totally wrong... Now that I've an encounter of it myself... Not that there are suddenly a lot of guys falling for me. But there's just one that just admitted to me. I don't like this. I don't wanna hurt anybody. It's all thanks to my reply in sms saying, 'Oh, I thought u ignored me. Haha.' Argh I shldn't have said that. It led to disaster. I already knew from the start that he's not gonna be inside my prospect list at all. So I treated him as a friend. Anyway we've only met for barely a few hours in total, not even a day! Who would fall for me in such short period of time? I don't believe in love at first sight. It'd only be loving the outward appearance, without knowing the inside. Thus, I ran away from this situation. I ignored him in return. I already tried to tell him that it can't happen between us. But he insisted that I should give it a try. NO!!! I don't like the way he speaks at all. His profession really shows..He's like totally a teacher. Always said out 'you get me?' during the conversation.

Hope he gets what I mean after I ignored his last sms without being hurt. All I wanted was a friend. But now...I lose it again.

N95

2008-02-29T23:59:00.003+08:00

Yes.... Finally..... I get hold of that mobile phone!! Hehehe. Went to Bedok together with JY and YW before cgm. After much consideration, I decided to get the 8GB Nokia N95 series. I'm charging it for 8 hrs now before I'm able to use it. So very delighted over it. Hehehe. The sentence 'good thing comes to those who waits, but even greater thing comes to those who's patient' really make sense. Coz I've been waiting for quite long for a new phone but I didn't expect to get such a high tech one. Thus, it's really worth to wait and be patient :D

Meanwhile...update bout that Scott guy. I found him to be 30yrs old, single, works as a tutor for O and A levelers currently. Had worked with a German bank before. Was a dual citizens of Australia and S'pore but decided to stick to S'pore one when he was 21. He told me he can get the Australian easily next time. I was glad to find out that he doesn't live at the same condo as me.

Know some more things about him actually but I'm lazy to type now. Wanna unwind a while, play some game first. Have been a tiring week for me. Next week will be another battle for me as I'll be having my Investment class test on Friday.

Ciao~~

SET FREE

2008-02-24T14:37:00.009+08:00

Struggled for the past 1 week. The truth was harsh. Felt betrayed was horrible. Have to forgive and forget was hard. To lose love was painful.

Nonetheless, I've thought it through for a long time. And I've decided to release forgiveness. This way, I'll be able to remove the bitterness that has reside inside my heart for 1 week. I struggled between love and hate, between forgiving and hating. I wanted to forgive instantly but I was so hurt that the dark side of me refused to believe in everything he said. I wanted to hate but the loving side of me refused to let go. So, I got into a dilemma and I think I've hurt him a lil by the way I treated him. The condemnation was on and off. Either of us were stressed by this incident and by the murderous assignments.

Why do I decided to forgive and trust again? Coz this thing is the fault of both parties. If I can forgive and don't even have a slight hatred for the girl, it isn't fair to hate the guy alone. Perhaps I can't get mad at her coz I don't know her. But the fact that she went on with him even after knowing bout my existence, makes her at fault too. Thus, I've to just take this experience as a lesson to be learnt. What matters now is his willingness to change. Everyone make mistakes but what matters is being able to learn from those mistakes and turn over a new leaf.

This matter had indeed made me lose my focus in everything. Lost interest in doing anything. But I thank God that I'll lose my appetite when I'm in a bad mood. Otherwise I'd have expanded within this short period of 1 week. As I grew bitter, I struggled to hang on to God and He is really faithful.

On the edge of losing my self-esteem, He did something that made me giggle when I think of it. Happened on Sat afternoon, in my condo's lift. I took the lift down, was on my way to church. A guy entered the same lift and before we reached the 1st floor, he conversed with me.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Guy: Are you local?
Me: No, I'm not.
Guy: Yeah, you don't look local. Where are you from?
Me: From Indonesia.
Guy: Which part of Indonesia?
Me: Jakarta.
Guy: What do you do here in S'pore?
Me: Studying.
Guy: Ohh...Still studying? Where do you study?
Me: SIM.
Guy: What do you take?
Me: Business Management.
Guy: I've some Indonesian friends..Do you know bla bla bla...He's like the gangster in Indo bla bla bla. (As we walked outta the condo building)
Me: No..no I don't.. I've never heard of that group.
Guy: Oh I see... Anyway what's your name?
Me: Vellysia.
Guy: I'm Scott. (Stretched his hand to shake mine)
Me: Ok..Nice to meet you.
Scott: Is there any way to keep in touch with you?
Me: Ok sure...
Scott: Here's my number.
Me: *Pressing my cellphone buttons* My number is....
Scott: Where are you heading to now?
Me: Expo.
Scott: I'm going to Tampines. Do you want a ride? Is it along the way?
Me: It's alright. I still have around 1 hour. Anyway there's a direct bus to go there. (As I walked away from him)
Scott: Ok then... Are you currently seeing anyone, btw?
Me: Not really.
Scott: A'ight I'll contact you. We hang out some time.
Me: Ok bye~ (And I rushed to the bus stop coz I didn't have exactly 1 hr to dilly dally. I just didn't want to take his ride)
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HILLARIOUS!!! It's still so fresh in my mind. That's why I can type all of the conversation down. So, you see..God is always here with me. Moments where I lost hope on myself, He's there to bring me up again. Sometimes He show us signs through humans. That's why we gotta be more sensitive to our surroundings and be thankful in anything.

Anyways, I went to the overnight prayer mtg at Jurong west church on Fri night. It was my 1st time and I had a great time! I don't even have the slightest regret going there. Miss that church building so much. It has a very peculiar scent. Not fragrant, in fact it rather smells like sweat from the members who perspire alot after queueing a long time before svc. Hahaha. But I sure can feel the atmosphere when I was there the 1st time :D

A HURT OR BLESSING?

2008-02-17T21:45:00.006+08:00

Something HUGE just happened to me and no..it wasn't a good thing. I got heartbroken. The news came to me slowly by Jy. Though it was slow...but it was steady. Pierced through so quickly and deeply. My stomach churned, my fingers went all cold with the cold night breeze blowing so strongly. I got confused, but I smiled a weird and broken smile. I didn't wanna believe it so easily coz perhaps due to the trust I have with that person. I feel that I know him better than the rest do. Especially the new girl who just appeared into the picture. I'm not trying to defend or cover him up. But I know his treatment towards me wasn't fake after all this while. He said that between the 2 of them, there was no special feelings attached. Perhaps the questions he asked her got her to misunderstood his intentions. I read her blog this afternoon and even as I read it, I knew that it was mostly his fault for being ignorant and insensitive. The way he questioned her was showing concern more than a normal friend would. Maybe coz we're female. And female tend to be more sensitive and thinks wayyy more than male do. So, who to blame now?

Even with the trust I had, it wasn't enough. There's an extremely thin line between love and hate. The funny thing is that, we can shift from love to hate in a blink of an eye but not vice versa. Once we enter hatred, it's difficult to return back to love. Maybe coz we feel hurt and thus it's not easy to love again. Nonetheless, we as Christians have to learn to be more forgiving and merciful right? Just like Jesus is to us even after we've hurt Him repetitiously. Having said that, it's still difficult for me to be like Him in such situation. I'm just a mere human being who's not perfect. Once my trust is broken, it's gonna be a tougher journey for both of us.

Moments like this makes me long for my family alot. I miss Mercy most of all. He's the only one who can show sincere love towards people. He gets so excited when he sees me. Oh how I treasure him so much. Thank God for my jie's friend who gave him as a gift. Hehehe.

Anyways...I did more than crying last night and even today. I wailed like a baby who hasn't been fed for half a day! It was too much information at one time. I find it hard to digest. I find it hard to speak out my mind too. Even when I've finally say out what was on my mind, the questions that's been haunting me down for the past few hours, I find it hard to believe the replies that I get. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel and think.

Can't remember when was the last time I wailed. It felt kindda good actually. But the bad thing is that it starts to grow into bitterness and a sense of suspiciousness, unable to believe in other people anymore.

I've to learn from this incident. However, I still wanna try to trust him once again. Everyone do need at least a second chance right? Even murderers and thieves do too. But I guess it'll be harder to establish now. *Sigh* The most important thing to do now is to pray, get closer to God and ask Him to remove this bitterness and accusation in my heart. Remove this condemnation that I have towards him in my mind.

--Lord, here I am...Forgiven so that I can forgive--

JUMBLED UP

2008-02-13T17:43:00.011+08:00

Haven't been blogging for such a long long long time. Been lazy to try to recall the past actually. Hahaha. But since I'm kindda free now, lemme just blog the main incidents briefly.

Watched Rambo 4 one fine day and it was gore. I cried coz the story was about God's children wanting to change the world by going to the warzone at Burma. I saw how they were being tortured. There were traitors being abused and tortured like as if they were toys. The ladies were treated like sex toys and were raped. It was horrifying to see. But I love the ending coz it was a happy one. The bad army leader was killed by Rambo. Hooray!!!

Fellowshipped with Joyce, Limei, Weiling, and Emily during Weiling's volleyball match at TP. Had a fun time reminiscing my time as TP student by eating the vegetarian meal at Mensa 2.

Had our CNY svc before the CNY itself. Had yusheng during fellowship. Went overnight at Orchard after that. Played Nintendo WII for the 1st time at cineleisure and it was a very fun experience. After that the guys went to play pool. I cldn't play, so I sat at a corner.

Returned to Indo for CNY from Wed afternoon till Sat afternoon. Collected quite a lot of hongbao and am I glad or am I glad. Hehehehe. Had a good time but too bad it was too short. Spent some quality time together with family. My family fired up some fireworks again during the CNY eve night while my mom was preparing the table with a few plates of offerings to pray to their gods.

1 day of visitation and it was all it takes to provide me with close to S$400. Hahahaha! 3 houses altogether. I cld've collected more but coz of the idiotic matchmaking session, I didn't have the time for 2nd visitation. *Sigh loudly* Not that the guy being matchmade to me is handsome or charismatic or interesting in any angle. He's got the lousiest attitude ever! He didn't even smile when he shook hands with all of us, ok?! It was CNY, for goodness sake. Face was so dull, hair was gelled and shiny like he's living in the 80's, overall appearance wasn't impressive at all. Maybe he thought he has to pay money to show us his smile. Or perhaps he was afraid I might start to like him if he smiled. Puhlease!!!! And there I was...Being nice and pleasant. Not to impress him, but coz he came over to my house and I didn't want to make myself and my family as a disgrace. Oh well. I wasn't even the least bit interested to be matchmade to anyone. And don't think that nobody wants to be with me, ok? Tsk. So stiff but still so picky and fussy. Dunno whether he'll ever get married or not. Cih.

It was my bro's hand with the mini mandarin orange.

How nice to have CNY. Wished it'd last longer but I've to return to reality. Assignments are piling up again and it's higher than the previous ones. Gonna return to my stressful self again but I just can't get the engine started. Valentine's day is a few hours away. Liang said it's my day coz to him, I'm V :D

Don't feel any excitement about it at all. Part of it is coz I've gotten older. While the other part is coz there are so many assignments to do. There might even be a group project mtg! Imagine that!~ Spending my V day with girlfriends but not for having fun. Geez. Oh well...I havent buy anything for anyone yet. Gosh.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!! Hope you're surrounded by love!~

CURRENT RHYTHM

2008-01-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

As I listen to my iTunes, I heard this song by FFH with a title of 'Lord move, or move me'. I think it suits my current situation. It goes like this...

FFH - Lord Move, or Move Me

I can't find the words to pray,
I'm a little down today
Can You help me,
Can You hold me?

I feel a million miles away,
And I don't know what to say
Can You hear me anyway?

What I need is for You to reach out Your hand
You have taught me no matter what You'd understand

CHORUS
Lord move in the way,
that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.

I've looked every where to find a simple peace of mind
But, I can't find nothing on my own
So I gotta leave myself behind, take up this cross of mine
Give away everything, I hold on to You

Lord I know the only way is through this
But Lord, I know I need You to help me do this

CHORUS

Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with Thee
'Cause I am weak,
but Lord, You are so strong
And You know it's been way too long
It's been way too long

CHORUS

PRAYER

2008-01-25T01:28:00.000+08:00

It just occurred to me how contradicting human beings can get. I suddenly remembered about how my non-believer friends used to ask me to pray for them when they were trying to achieve or get something. Getting a job for instance.

The 1st Qn that came to my mind was why they want me to pray to my God for their success? The very fact that they asked from my God, it already means that they subconsciously believe that my God is real, right? If that so, then why do they need my help? I'm not being selfish or unwilling to pray for others. It's just that they've not even tried to pray personally for what they want. They've not tried to get to know my God. They want miracles but they don't wanna believe in His existence. How absurd can it get?

I saw a phrase that strike me after seeing it only once. It was shown after I withdrew some cash from the UOB ATM machine. They added 'Quote of the day' after every transactions. It goes like this 'Don't trouble others with what you can do yourself.' This sentence was told by a person but I can't seem to recall what was his name.

Many people just wanna take the easy way out. We want convenience and so we tend to get others to do our stuff. Often is because they're on the same way so it's more convenient for them to help us etc.

Perhaps it's the lack of responsibility or self-motivation. I feel that we just have to learn to be responsible over our own things. We've to take charge and be in control with the things that we've to do. The more we rely on others, the lazier we get. And the more others won't respect us.

I've learnt. But I'm not saying that I've changed completely. I'm trying to change myself to be more independent. I admit that I leech sometimes. But I believe that some day, I'll be a totally changed person.

-Ask and you shall receive. Prayer and fasting pour down miracles.-

BLONDE, PURPLE, RED

2008-01-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

Finally I'm different from the people out there, again. I highlighted my hair RED. Not being festive coz I colour it red when CNY is round the corner. I just like red and I think it's a cool colour :D

My hair is damaged once again but it doesn't matter. When my hair has grown, I'mma trim it. And it'll all be new black hair again. Neither soft nor shiny, but it'll still be better and less damaged. So I've no worries. I wanna enjoy this freedom while I'm still a student and am young. Wait till I work or have my own family, I can't have my hair this colourful anymore.

I've prophecy that many people might give negative comments, especially my family members. But I feel that this is the only thing I can do to show the wilder side of me. I'm not allowed to have more than a pair of earring holes, not allowed to have a tattoo either. So, at least allow me to play a lil bit with my hair, a'ight? :) Anyway I'm not that daring as to pierce some more ear holes or to get myself a tattoo even though I find it kindda cool. My treshold for pain is rather weak. I wonder how am I gonna stand the pain and agony during labour in the future.

So, anyways...Here's how my current hair look like.

I'm gonna have a great time listening to family members' complaints when I'm back there for CNY, which is soon. Hehehe. I'll be flying off on the 6th of Feb and return on the 9th. It's a very short trip but it's gonna be worthwhile coz I've been absent from family reunion for around 9 years already. Hehehe. I'm soooo looking forward to it :)

BACK IN S'PORE

2008-01-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back in S'pore again. A place where I can blog with peace coz it's unlimited internet connection. The place where I've a lil bit more freedom to hang out with my friends till dawn. The place where I experience love and hate, happiness and sadness, stress and relax.

Alright now...I just wanna rewind a lil bit to my life back at Indo which I enjoyed very much. Afterwhich I've to wake up to reality and do my routine to go to sch again in the next few hours.

Mercy got a bit better a few days after being operated. He had to use that thing around his neck to prevent him from licking or biting the plaster on his thigh. And he was locked in that small blue cage coz we had to go off for dinner at a restaurant. Poor thing.

This pic was taken even later than the cage pic. He got very energetic and returned to his old self already. He enjoyed his bed and thanks to my tender loving care, he was so very loved. Hahaha. He loved me back and I felt it. Even my sisters felt it too. I'm missing him as I blog now. Hope his bone will be attached back soon.

This scorpion was found at Bogor, under a big heavy stone which was lifted up by my maid. It was then taken home to be kept as pet by my younger bro. The poisonous part on its tail was cut off by the maid who found it (the weird maid who is the prime suspect of throwing my poor Mercy off the 2nd storey over to neighbour's backyard).

Our way of celebrating new year's eve was to have a steamboat at home. The only absent family member was my older sis coz she had to join her bf's family dinner.

These were only the few bottles of softdrinks. There were still a couple more bottles somewhere else which I didn't include.

Ended the dinner with a slice of cool and sweet Vennetta ice cream. Then waited for the time to strike 12. Waited in front of the TV to countdown together with other people in Indonesia. My dad was so excited for a toast. He prepared a bottle of wine at 10pm!

After counting down to new year, we went to the field opposite my house to set the fireworks.

Off thew flew freely up to the night sky with a loud noise. We fire quite a number of fireworks but didn't capture all of them in the camera. Only the nicer ones are fit to be shared here. Hehe.

Oh yeah Mercy was curious to see too. So dad took him out :D

In the car, heading for Shangrilla hotel for a buffet dinner.

Reached the hotel already. Only took photos with my sis and not others coz she was the only one willing. Hahaha. Ate there on the 1st of Jan, the evening before my departure. All was present except Yun.

I just got myself a new wireless mouse from Jun as X'mas n new yr present. Thx jun! Love it alot :D Coz now I can be free from wire on the table when I surf the net. Hohoho. Oh yeah I'm hoping to get my new mobile phone. Gotta need Jiayi's IC. Hehehe. I'm so dependent on her. Thx alot JY! Love u alot! :)

THE LITTLE ONE

2007-12-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

So many things I wanna blog about but there's 1 incident which broke my heart to pieces and I wanna type it down so badly.

Ever since my house get new maids, many creepy incidents happened to my poor little dog. The 1st was when my dog had his very 1st disappearing act. He was found behind a closed door of the store room which is rarely opened at all. They found it rather scary and thought it was some kind of spirits or ghosts who did it. They thought that the house is haunted or some sort. But why now? Why after 3 yrs? Why nothing had happened to him before when the maids were still the previous 3? 1 of the maid led the way when they were searching for him. And Yun told me that she was so confident when suggesting to search the store room. She even opened the correct door at her 1st trial (there're 2 small store rooms).

The 2nd disappearing act was when he was found outside my bedroom. Weird enough to find him under the balcony of my bedroom (that space is the shelter of the 1st floor). Coz we know he won't jump down even when he plays around the balcony. And this time, it was the maids again who found him.

The 3rd incident was the most hurtful one. He was found at the neighbour's behind my hse! He fell over the wall! 2 storeys high! That caused him a broken back leg. So painful! His bone was broken into 2 and his leg cldn't be moved. It looked boneless. It was that particular maid who told us that she heard a sound of dog barking in a hse. She and another maid went around the block to help us search for him. While some of us went round with cars. B4 that, we tried to search the hse and tried the closed store room again but she didn't show any interest to search there. She wasn't even there when Yun and another maid went to the store room.

See the link here? All the time, it was the maids who found him. I guess it's enough to put the suspicion on them. Well, at least to 1 of them coz she's a weirdo who seems like she's got a lil disorder in her mental. My only hope now is for my mom to find new maids more quickly coz they're harmful to the pitiful dog. No matter how much concerns and pity they showed towards him in front of us, they won't get anymore trust from any of us in this hse.

RANDOM ENTRY

2007-12-10T23:23:00.001+08:00

That....was me. This pic was taken by Yaowen when he sent me off at the airport. Seriously...seating alone at an airplane isn't a very nice feeling. Especially if you're worried about whether you'd get into any unpredictable accident.

This is the 2nd level of the villa at Bogor. I love that place. I even asked my dad to inherit that to me in the future. LOL! I guess it's too fast to ask.

STILL AT INDO

2007-12-08T01:06:00.000+08:00

I just had a haircut. Yep...finally :D It's wayyy too thin than i expected. But, I think it'll be nicer once it's grown a lil bit more. I've got my short fringe back. Now my fringe won't block my view, hence, i won't be having a hard time flipping my head just to remove the hair from covering my right eye.

Oh yeah, I 4gt to blog about the movie, The Kingdom, which I watched a few days back with my older sis. That movie...made my sis comment so much during the show till embarassed me a lil, coz I think there was no one else talking in the quiet cinema except her. It was a rather bloody movie, a cruel one in fact. The Saudi people kept on terrorrizing the Americans. The way the Saudi tried to murder the Americans was so frightening. 1 of them will be the camera man who would record the murder scene, 1 would keep the American hostage while holding a blade on the man's throat, while another 1 would be reading a rather short message outta a piece of paper.

That's how the real Saudi people murder and terrorrize their enemies. Inhuman, I must say. How could anyone kill a fellow human being with such cruelty? And what I can't accept most is when they still can proclaim that they're so religious, respect Allah alot, non-Muslim can't touch the Muslims. Hypocracy! They believe in getting a lot of virgin in heaven if they follow instructions to do those crimes. What crap is that? Those kind of murderer won't even go to heaven in the 1st place. Let alone getting virgins to provide them with pleasures. Anyway, why would you still need to satisfy your lust for when you're already enjoying yourselves in heaven? Only stupid, blind people would believe and simply follow. As human beings, we know how to differentiate bad from good, wrong from right. So, I don't know how these insane ppl think! I get furious if I think about them! Grahhhhhh!

Ok enough bout those garbage. I just bought a MAC eyeshadow that supposedly gives me the smokey eye kindda effect. I don't know whether I'll be getting that result or not. Coz my eyes does not have that sexy look to begin with. They're not deep set, like the Eurasians. My double eyelids are rather small and my eyes are kindda close to the eyebrows (that's what the MAC salesgirl told me). But I'mma try it out anyway. Enjoy the moments and try out new things as much as possible while my age still can't limit me. That's my motto. Hahaha. I'mma embrace my youth well coz it won't last long.

Oh.. Oh... I got my exam results back and I'm relieved :) I passed everything but I'm kindda disappointed for not getting any distinctions especially my HRD. But I'm grateful coz I won't need to pass bad news to my dad bout repeating a subject or paying additional fees :D Yipee~

--You hear my deepest cry within my heart, within my soul. And I'm glad You're so good to me--

LIFE AT INDO

2007-12-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

It's been a week now that I'm in Jkt. It's only a mere 7 days but I feel like it's been forever. Haven't go to many of the shopping malls coz everyone's busy. Siblings are either busy with work or with exams. Parents are too busy thinking that shopping is just a waste of time and money. Ahahaha. I'm just gonna randomize this entry by summing up bits of every story.

A few days ago, I was hugging and playing around with Mercy. Oh how I love 'em so. He's so very extremely adorable! He's got this handsome but rather dumb looking kindda face. Hahaha. But anyway, his behaviour is what makes 'em cute. And so, I had always thought that being a pet dog which people loved and cared so much is very fortunate. Looking at how Mercy is pampered by most of my family members, I think he's happy. He sleeps in my room and is free to roam about even on beds unless he's dirty. Just look at how he sleeps then you'll agree that he's very fortunate.

Went to Bogor to check out the villa on Saturday. It's become a routine to go there every weekend, I don't know why. Hahaha. Anyway, the progress of the construction delighted me. I can't wait for it to finish. Then we'd stay there during vacations. Love the cool weather there and it's far from the buzzling, busy roads in the city.
Stayed over at my unc's house on Sunday night. His house is cool! I love it. He's got a good family. His kids look well brought up. I always thought that I'd try to be like his wife in handling my family in the future. Hoping that I'd manage my family well. Ahahaha. Think too far, eh? His youngest is a daughter, who's body is tiny for a primary 2 kid, plays the piano well, behave cutely, owns a cute li'l puppy which she's afraid of. Hahaha!

Oh btw, I think I'm considering to buy a Nokia to be my new hp. But then again....my dad is hard to beg. I'm still unsure whether I'm gonna get it or not. Sobs.

COOKIES~

2007-11-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

Went out with Jun and Liang yesterday. Liang went off this morning, so yesterday was like the last day out with him. Don't know when will I get the chance to meet him again. Perhaps in Dec at Indo. Hopefully he'll get a job here in S'pore. Hehehe. Anyway....Took neoprint with them but I've yet scanned it. I'm nt gonna publish it here anyway :D

Baked some cookies in the evening. So enjoyable :) The next time I bake it again, I'mma add my own additional ingredients inside. Hope it'd taste even tastier.

Stage 1: Mix the dough and place them in the black ungreased sheets.

Stage 2: Baked and let it cool.

Stage 3: Taken off the sheets and the result was...plate full of cookies :D

RUBBISH FEEDER

2007-11-24T10:36:00.000+08:00

Woken up due to my dad's angry tone on the other end of the phone. I got scolded for something I didn't do. I'm full of flaws in my parents' eyes. He scolded me for not doing the things he asked me to do from a long time. Yeah right...He only sms-ed me yesterday and he claims that he had sms-ed me since last time.

Have been tolerating my parents' nonsense for so long now. That I can't bear it anymore. They're good, can't deny that. But they're not good parents. They're just good people. Even good people are full of craps sometimes. I can't blame them. But why do they always get unreasonable towards their own kids? Children are also human beings with feelings, with their own lives to lead, with own problems and burdens to carry on their shoulders. Why can't they try to make the kids love them naturally? When we act unfilial just a tiny bit, they make a big fuss and think a lot bout it (after which, some extra ingredients will be added to their gossips). But what they fail to think of is how their attitude is towards the children that make even the most patient kid out of the 5, running wild with teary eyes that are slowly filled with hatred.

Staying a lil longer in S'pore, doesn't mean that parents are not important anymore. Doesn't mean that I'm putting my friends above them. Doesn't mean that I'm crazy over guys. Get that right ok? These are the words I really wish I could scream unto my mom's ears. But sadly, I can't. Coz even when I make a slow and soft remark, she's gonna get even more furious at me. She's just so unreasonable!

Friends are important, as much as parents are to me. When you're living overseas, without family members around, friends become a part of family. Guess you guys don't know how it feels huh, mom, dad? Perhaps you should try. Then you'll know how I feel. You expect me to get favours from my friends when I'm in need of something. But tried to get me to abandon my friends when I'm invited to their important event. SHUT UP, I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT.

I feel like screaming now. I just feel like turning 180 degrees from the person I am now. To show them that I've changed. To them, to the bad. But to me, I'd say that it's for the better. I'm growing, each day. I've learned to be more mature. Why can't they accept that reality? Stop treating me like I'm 15 years old. I'm already a young adult. I can even get married tomorrow even without my parents being present at the ROM. So what's the big deal with me going out often with my friends, huh? Why should they get angry when I'm not even spending much money when I go out? It's not like I'm some rich pampered daughter who can easily swipe the card in some boutique. No...I'm already like one of the poor daughter who have to think lotsa times before purchasing even a bag. So, please....I don't think I deserve the scoldings.

I know I've my limits too. I don't do things when I know it's wrong. Why can't they just be grateful for the few things that us, the kids, restrain from doing? While many other kids have fall so deeply into those prohibited activities. Why are your eyes blinded by the good appearance of other people, without knowing their backs? Try living together with them for some time...Then you'll see that they're not as good as you claim them to be. You said that you're unlucky to have us as your kids. Then it's not really our luck to have you as our parent too.

But in spite of all these craps, I learn a lot of things. So I'm grateful. I would learn hard enough not to be the same mom as her when I've my own family. I've learned to grow stronger even when you scold me for no good reason. I know that I haven't done anything wrong, so I won't be defeated by your mean words that spread as quickly as SARs virus. But hey, your mean words is the natural killer. So, indirectly, you've murdered me.

Belle's 21st Celebration Day

2007-11-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

Lemme start this entry by saying this..... I super like this Tim Tam biscuits! I bought it to try out of curiosity. Who wld've guessed it turned out to be super yummylicious!

Went to have a cell grp steamboat yesterday. Bt I haven't get any pics from anybody yet. So I shall publish them next time.

This afternoon was Annabelle's 21st b'day party! It was marvellous. The Vis-a-Vis French Restaurant was superb. It was a good choice, Belle :D We were served with plain water, fruit punch, bread with butter at 1st. Afterwhich came the starter, wholemeal bread covered with creamy mushrooms. We were given 3 choices for our main course, steak, fish, or spaghetti. I had fish and it was served with mashed potato n some boiled carrot n cucumber. Nice! I tried the steak chosen by JY and it was so tender. Everything is delicious. After the main course, Belle cut her b'day cake 1st. I 4gt wad cake was it...I know there's some pistachio inside. The cake was so spongy. Nice! Hehehe. Then there was still dessert served by the restaurant. Some kind of pancake topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and orange peel syrup. Lastly, tea or coffee for every guests :)

Everything was good! The food, the service, the ambiance.

The above sunflowers were 1 of JY's b'day gift for Belle. It was pretty and was bought at a good bargain :D

After the party ended, we headed to svc. Ps. Phil Pringle painted the last supper during the preaching. It was somehow funny to see him do his art work. I still can't figure out why these kind of cant-be-understood art pieces could cost bombs! I guess only ppl who appreciates art can understand and accept the expensive stuff for even the ugliest piece.

After svc, as usual we fellowshipped at Expo Hall 2. Took some pics tonight :) That's my narcism side kicking in.

Love her cheeky n vain pose :D

The photos below were taken while we were waiting for bus to go to my house.

Overly candid

THE COMING DEPARTURE

2007-11-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

Called dad a few moments ago. Talked to him about my departure. He sounded like he's in high-spirit. So glad to hear him that way :D Anyways...I told 'em that I wanna go back on the 28th of Nov but he asked me to settle the biz with my friends faster and come back earlier. And stay at Indo longer than 24th Dec. I told 'em that the air tickets after 25th would be more expensive. Bt he didn't mind. He said that a lil bit more expensive is a'ight.

So surprising! I told him that the difference in price is quite a lot. Bt he said...Nvm..stay here longer. Wow~ Wad's gotten into them? Suddenly I feel like I'm so wanted there. Hahaha. Even my older bro asked me to stay longer. In a way... I oso wanna stay longer. I don't think a mth is gonna be enough for me to enjoy. But there are some things that made me don't wanna stay too long. There are things in S'pore which hold me back.

Gosh I dunno what am I supposed to do. I can't come back here earlier if my dad wishes me to stay there longer anyway. There goes my plan for X'mas. I thot I cld come to the x'mas svcs for all the 4 days. Now it's nt gonna happen *Sigh* I can't remember when was the last time I spend my X'mas here. Indo is so boring. X'mas is nothing for them. It's just known as another day where the churches will be filled with many of the church members whose cars would fill up even the road, causing traffic jams. Then my mom would grumble coz of the way they park their cars. The roads are not even decorated. In s'pore it's so lively. Orchard road is lighted up so brightly and beautifully. At Indo, it's as dull as any other day. Grahhhhhh! Can't stand it *Loud sigh*

Guess as parents get older, they wld love the kids to gather more often together. Hahaha.

PHOTOS

2007-11-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

Took some photos with Yun and Wilbert when they came. Had fun! Bt they came at wrong timing. I was gonna prepare for my exams! Nonetheless, I still manage to juggle between accompanying them while struggling for my revision. Teeheehee~

Was rather disappointed when Yun didn't come for the svc which the cg was going to celebrate my b'day. Bt she surprised me after the svc had ended. She collaborated with Joyce to give me the surprise. She was waiting at Foyer 3 with a b'day cake! Hahaha! So touched! The cake was nice. Thx alot, my love~

Uweeeeeeeeee~~~~~~

2007-11-10T01:03:00.000+08:00

Finally exams are officially OVER and done with! MWAHAHAHHA! Anyway I'm still lazy to upload the overdue pics. I shall post them next time. In the meantime, I wanna publish 2 things I wrote after my Finance paper, while waiting for JY and Jul to finish their marketing paper. The 1st 1 was coz I was disappointed and worried over my finance test. The 2nd was something I created myself... Wasn't referring to anyone. I just felt like writing for the sake of writing. LOL! When I finished the 2nd piece, I felt like I was a producer of some Indo movie or something. Coz it sounds quite mushy. Hahaha. So here goes...

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When you feel that you can't hold on

Everything seems to tumble down on you

Don't give up, don't look down

Embrace yourself up and see the world in another angle

Nothing can pull you down low enough

Just remember all the good things in your life

Keep that smile on your face

That can brighten up days even in their darkest moments

Life's too beautiful to be given up

Hang on tight...

Everything will be over before you know it

Move towards your dream and remember I'll always be here

Don't cover yourself up, don't hide yourself away

Show the world what you've got, what you're made of

There's a hero in every single one of us...

Waiting to be awaken

So don't belittle yourself

'Coz you're big on the inside

'Coz you might've impacted someone's life even without you knowing

'Coz you're one of the sunshine in this world

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Aku kangen sama kamu. Aku sayang sama kamu. Kamu sangat penting bagiku. Apakah kamu tau itu? Apakah kamu dapat merasakannya? Kamu adalah harta bagiku. Aku tidak bisa minta lebih daripada kamu yang sekarang ini, karna kamu yang sekarang sudah cukup. Kamu baik, kamu lucu, kamu sabar, kamu pengertian. Yang paling penting adalah kamu penuh cinta. Segalanya tentangmu adalah cinta. Tingkah lakumu yang bisa membuatku tersenyum. Caramu menyayangiku, mencintaiku...Membuatku mencintai hidupku dengan lebih lagi. Kamu bisa membuatku merindukanmu setiap saat. Apakah kamupun merasa begitu? Ataukah kuhanya bertepuk sebelah tangan?

Dapatkah kamu merasakan cintaku kepadamu? Apakah kamu tau kalau kamu selalu berada di dalam benakku? Ingin rasanya aku nyanyikan semua lagu cinta yang ada di dunia ini. Ingin aku memberikan semua yang terbaik daripadaku untukmu.

Sudikah kamu menerimaku apa adanya? Sudikah kamu menjagaku sampai akhir hayat? Sudikah kamu untuk selalu berada dekat di sisiku?

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SUFFOCATION

2007-11-04T12:21:00.000+08:00

2 papers down....2 more papers left. Gawddd I just feel like burning all the lecture notes. Send them all to hell. Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait for Monday to come and get over it fast. Afterwhich I'd just have to struggle a lil bit more for the Friday paper.

Studying for my Biz Finance is gonna make me age quicker than I'm supposed to.

I'm super in need of grace, wisdom and understanding. With Him by my side, nothing is impossible. Like the Adidas motto "Impossible is Nothing". Nth in this world cant be overcomed. I shall persevere now for the longer period of joy in the future :D

Will be back with more colours of life next week after all my papers are done. Ciao~

EXAMS!!!

2007-10-31T21:15:00.000+08:00

Once again...It's the horrifying moment for students such as myself. Yep...it's the exam period! 4 papers that seem to consume all my entire life to study, memorize and eventually vomit everything out on the answer sheets.

Terrible feeling! Within 2 weeks I'll be as free as the eagle soaring in the blue sky. Only 4 days are needed for the exams. It all seems so short. But in between is the slow poisonous process. My dark eye rings get darker each day and it's petrifying. NO!!!! I'm gonna sleep before 12am once my holiday starts. LOL!

I wanna post some pics up but it can only be done next Friday the earliest. I need to be a bookworm every once in a while. Life isn't just about having great fun all the time. We need to work hard so that we won't get tired easily. Yes I know...but saying is easier than getting it done. I'm just lazy. Perhaps I shouldn't heed my father's advice to continue studying after my Bachelor. I should start earning working experience while waiting for my mr. right guy to just appear in front of my face, riding a porsche or mini cooper or somethin', propose to me. LOL!

Ah well...I'm just daydreaming for a minute or two, just to relax my mind. Now I'll have to go back to the head-exploding revision again. Ciao!~

...

2007-10-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

It's so hard to please ppl. Miss-able when they're far away frm me. Bt annoying when they're in the same hse as me.

Wish that I cld spend time with them more often, wish that I cld make them proud. Bt nth seems to work out. They live their lives without considering my feelings. They want me to understand them all the time. Bt do they understand me?

I've always tried to understand other ppl's feelings..Put them in my thoughts 1st. For so long, I've been doing this. Can they feel it? Do they appreciate it?

Mom, is your face more important than my feelings? Why do other ppl's comments bother u so much? Do they carry more weight than how I feel? I don't think those comments which come from some gossipers would guarantee me with a bright and better future. Why do u care so much with what other ppl think? Why r u so insecure? Why haven't u ever consider your own kids' opinions or comments bout our own preference? You only know how to compare us with other ppl's kids without comparing urself with their moms 1st. Why are u always unthankful with whatever we already have? You often speak of how ill-fated u are having us as ur kids. Have u even try to stop and think of our strengths instead of our weaknesses? You gt traumatized by some experience of urs over the past few yrs bt doesn't mean that they wld befall unto all of us. There's no point trying to protect us when ur way of protection is wrong.

It annoys me when my mom compare us with herself. Coz she's sooo stuck in her own world, in I dunno what yr. Perhaps the '70s? I'm nt sure. She doesn't have any friends. Mayb that's 1 of the factor. She doesn't like us hanging out with friends or the way we sometimes put our friends inside our priority list. I dunno how she thinks. Neither does she know how we think. We tried to understand u better as a person. Bt u nvr try to do the same back to us. Till a point of time when we'd all be tired of trying. In the end, the last thing u can do wld only be crying over ur unfilial children. If that really happen, u can't possibly put all of the blame on us. And I can't help either.

--I'm strong on the surface. But not all the way through. I've nvr been perfect. Bt neither have u. I can't be who u are.--

MIX 'EM UP

2007-10-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

Yummy~

Went to Vivo City a couple of days ago and bought some interesting food from the Candy Empire.

Chocolate with marshmallow in between. It's delicious.

I've no idea how this food tastes like coz I've yet opened it. I bought it out of curiousity.

This Eclipse...Nt sold at other stores yet. Cinnamon flavour. Can't say that it's nice though. Hahaha. Bt worth the try.

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TCC

I began to love cheese cake ever since I ate 1 at TCC (The Coffee Connoisseur) with my friends 1 fine evening. And today....I tried 1 of their drink called Lychee Jazz. It's got a taste of some tea, a touch of lychee flavour, 1 lychee, with sparkling water and 3 mint leaves. It's so well presented. Love it!

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What's up, Nose?

I've been having this flu which I think got better already..Bt doesn't seem to be able to get it totally cured. Giving me uncomfortable nose in the end. Sometimes it makes my internal nose bleed too. Geez. It's not the usual nose bleed btw, where the blood just flow down the nose. No it's not that. It's something more like....internal nose gets dry or perhaps some ulcers inside. I dunno. What's wrong here?

DELIGHTFUL, THANKFUL, JOYFUL

2007-09-27T23:21:00.001+08:00

I know it isn't right for me to be blogging at this hour when I haven't even complete my EG assignment yet. Bt I just can't stop thinking of how happy I am when I saw the result of my Biz Finance class test. I need to type this down immediately :)

I had been waiting for the results to be posted online ever since my lecturer told the class that she had finished marking some of the papers. I waited with eagerness. No...I didn't think that I was gonna pull through. I thot I'd flunk it. I'd thank God even when all I get to see is a 'Pass' on the assignment results column. Just as long as I don't fail it. Or so I thought.

I did struggled rather hard for the test. Even though it was sort of like a last minute hardwork. Bt I did practiced.

It was just a mere 25 MCQ (if I remember it correctly). I don't know what's the weightage of this test for the overall finance module. Bt if I pass it, it'll at least help a little for my overall result at the end of the semester. So I hoped hard to get at least a 'pass'.

I was so anxious when Jul told me that the result is out. I called her to arrange for tmr's meeting. Not expecting her to remind me about the finance result. Anyways, I logged into the SIM student portal as she was telling me.

What I saw was a 'CREDIT' instead of a 'PASS'! I got more than what I expected. I was so happy. I told jul about my result while I was smiling from ear to ear over the phone.

I dunno why I got overjoyed over this. Perhaps coz I take this module by myself. And I have to make it by myself. JY and jul are not there to study together with me. That's why I feel like it's a rather big achievement for me. Hehehe.

I'm a happy and thankful girl at the moment. Thx, God ^-^

-I see a near revival. Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest. Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause-

EXAM MODE ON

2007-09-24T13:09:00.000+08:00

Lectures are almost all done. Left 1 subject, which is EG, to complete. After next Thurs, my exam study break will be official.

Sickening. Coz there are still 2 more assignments to be done.

Somehow my mind is already set to study for exams. There's no longer doing-project-feelings. It's hard to focus in front of my laptop to type the reports. I wanna head down to the library and study.

Is this eager feeling meant for exams or for the holidays instead? I can't figure it out.

What I know is... Everything is so near. Before I know it, all will come and pass. As fast as the wind blowing against my cheek.

Since that's the case, I guess I shldn't be struggling much. Coz all will be done in a very short time. After all the slight hardwork I've to put in, I'd be enjoying the endless holidays again.

It's easy to say. Bt the process is the main killer. Bt no matter what, I'm gonna pull through just fine. Just like the past few years. I had gone through everything well. And now I'm gonna do just fine too. I believe it. And I'm confessing it. There's a power in confession, God says. Hehehe. I shan't be afraid.

EXHAUSTED BUT CONTENTED

2007-09-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

Wooooo...So very tired today.

No...Nt tired coz of sch. I have no lect today. Bt didn't get to rest at home either.

Went out in the morning to meet up with Jul n JY to discuss about our individual assignment. It ended so fast that after we were done, we str away went to shop. Went over to the Marina Square from Millenia Walk.

The 1st thing I bought was a Maybelline eye make up remover from SaSa. Thx to JY n Jul who were looking at the perfume, I found out that my long waited Issei Miyaki was actually Lancome Miracle perfume. Geez. I'm so gonna get it :D 100% love tha fragrant.

Then we went over to City Link where JY managed to get herself a pair of high heel shoes. While I get a pair of black sandals from Charles & Keith. I've just bought a new pair of black sandals bt that was with heels. That's why I bought another flat ones. Jul oso got herself a new mphosis bag.

After that we headed down to Bugis where I finally get my Casio watch from The Bencoolen for S$33 :D Totally happy with it. I also bought a necklace from Diva at Bugis Junction. My 1st ever Diva accessory! Hahaha. JY said I'm a late bloomer coz many ppl already bought Diva since dunno when.

And to close the shopping time, I bought a grey top and a black bag from OG. Not that I wanted to shop there. Bt my mom wanted to get hold of the new membership / discount card. So, the evil department store made me spend more than S$75 in order for me to get the new card.

I shall say that the best buys today were the ones from OG. I totally love them! :D Can't remember when was the last time I went on a shopping spree. This kind of moment can only be done when my mom's in S'pore. She hasn't come here for so long already. That's why I felt like I hadn't been buying so many goods in a day.

She's gonna come in Oct! Yay!~ Bt it'll be my exam study break. Grahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I must memorize doubly hard in order to gain chances to go shopping with her. Heehehehehe!

SMOKE FREE, GET IT?

2007-09-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

Schools....Sometimes they could be idiotic. They try idiotic measures and attempts to be better schools for the country.

My sch, for instance, put up a smoke-free-campus (smoking is strictly prohibited) banner not so long ago. It's so ridiculous that everytime I look at it, I wanna tear it down. It's so shameful to have that banner when the students are smoking publicly right under it. There's no longer guards that ask the students not to smoke in the sch premise. There are more students who smoke nowadays. That's very irritating for the non-smokers when we wanna walk in and outta the sch.

So, does it work? My ans will be a big NO! Does it give the sch better image? NO! *Sigh* What a waste of resources.

CROSSED MY MIND

2007-09-12T14:58:00.000+08:00

Saw a handsome guy when I board a bus 1 day. He was polite and fresh-looking. He was the bus driver -.-

Saw a handsome guy in sch's library a couple of times already (including today). He's the assistant in the photocopying room -.-

Sometimes I wonder...Why such fine looking guys work these kindda jobs.

Bt why wldn't they? Doesn't mean only the uglier ones are suitable to be bus drivers.

Sometimes it's unfair. The way ppl think. We often think the pretty and handsome ppl shld be successful, working as high-flyers.

Whenever I tell stories involving some girls, Jun likes to ask "Pretty?" There's nth wrong with it. Just that, it gives me the impression of cruelty. Hahaha. Coz...Wad if she's ugly? Doesn't mean it's alright for anything bad to befall her.

Bt I guess it's just nature. It's nicer to look at gd looking ppl, right? Man...I better makeover myself then :p

I wanna change my hairstyle. I wanna pin more. My forehead is dying. Small pimples are growing. So I better groom myself more properly *Sigh* It's heartbreaking to suddenly have pimples breakout. Bt thank God that mine is not severe. Hope by pinning my fringe, it'll return to normal again.

TODAY

2007-09-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

Fellowship with Joyce at TM today. I had the all time fave, fish meat bee hoon! I miss it alot! Even now as I'm blogging, I feel like eating it again. LOL!

Look how tempting it is lah! Fuiyo! It's so hard to resist the temptations that come from food!

Was supposed to fellowship with Joyce alone..Bt came along....Terrence and Joa! Hahahha.

After the meal, this ice cream waffle was wad we had for dessert. So yummy. Hehehe. Sweet after salty is perfecto~

Headed down to Joyce's void deck for the 3 peeps to study after the lunch. Due to the hot weather, we bought bubble tea drinks to quench our thirst. Look at how silly Terrence cld get (refer to pic below).

There are still some other pics that I wanna upload actually. Bt due to some probs that blogger nvr fails to give me...I'm lazy and tired of keep on trying. So I shall stop here 1st. *Sigh* Wad's wrong with u, blogger? Y r u stopping me from uploading pics? Y?

G'BYE NUCOR

2007-09-05T23:58:00.001+08:00

Finally! Nucor case stdy...*wave gd bye* Last min struggle was devastating. Gosh! Didn't have enough slp for a few days in a row was killing me softly. My dad saw how I went thru it and he pitied me. LOL. He's here for a couple of days b4 flying off to HK. I skipped 2 of today's lect just to finish finding the journal resources for the report's reference. Jeez. It wasn't easy! Online stuff can sometimes be blood-suckers and shorten our lives.

Neeways...I'm gonna get a great gd night slp soon. Cant wait. Suddenly my bed feels sooooo comfy. Like as if I've nt been slping on it for a vry long time. Hahaha.

Ow yeah...I've a new craving! My hands itch for a new thing. N that thing is.... PSP! Hahahha! I like to play sudoku there :p I've asked my dad to buy 1 for me, but he said my age is old enough to get married n have a child already bt yet I still wanna play this kindda game. Hahaha. I told him it can be used for mp3 as well. Hope he wld rly buy for me. *Fingers crossed*

CAPEK

2007-09-03T02:29:00.000+08:00

Cuapeknya daku....dr challet nya JY. Bbq-ing itu mkn tenaga. Pulang2 dr challet, malah dbuat bt pula. Haduh..wad a day *Sigh*

Knp co yg gila game itu nyebelin bgt yah? Tsk! Knp co itu ngga bs coba utk mikir gmn caranya bikin ce nya hepi? Ngga pernahkah mereka terpikir kalo yg bs bikin dia hepi, itulah yg bs bikin ce nya hepi jg. Tsk! Kan kita sama2 org...Tp knp jln pikiran ce n co itu beda bgt? Memangnya keperbedaan itu yg mengisi satu sama lain? Rasanya...kenyataan begini susah bgt utk d terima deh. Mungkin karna inilah homoseksual ada d dunia.

Semua org butuh perhatian. Gw pun udah coba utk ksh dia semaksimal mungkin perhatian gw ke dia. Tp apakah dia coba utk buat yg sama ke gw? Itu yg ga akan gw ketahui. Tiap kali dia udah mulai duduk d dpn comp, kehadiran gw ga bklan d hirauin lg. Gw ada d samping dia ato ngga, ga bklan ngefek apa2.

Ahhhh cape lah kalo mikirin ginian... Gw jadi males buat anggap siapa pun utk jadi org penting d hidup gw.

I'M DIFFERENT

2007-09-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

I feel like blogging all of a sudden.

Went to see watches at The Bencoolen, Bugis, with JY and Jul yesterday after we had our project discussion at TM. I drooled as I stared at the pretty watches in the shops. I'm planning to get a CASIO watch which cost approximately S$40. Bt we'll see when I'll finally get it :D

Anyways, there was a moment when JY and I were debating on which color looks nicer. Pink face or pearl white face. I prefer pearl white bt JY said the whole color blends and it doesn't make the details stand out. Bt from the moment I set my eyes on it, I already know that my choice is only that white :) I told her that I like it and suddenly I blurt out "I know I wanna get this 1. I've my own taste n stand." So JY said, most important thing is I like.

Yes. During that incident, I realised that I'm nt easily affected by my friends' tastes or styles. I don't like to follow what the other ppl around me are wearing. And it made me so glad suddenly. Coz...I feel that I'm a different individual. God created every human being different. So, I'm happy that I won't look the same as JY or Jul when we walk together in sch :) Hehehe.

It's true that my style of clothes tend to get more n more like JY's sometimes...Bt, I think that coz it's only shorts and T-shirt, it's so comfortable to wear when I'm gonna have a long day or...when I go to sch. Hey, it's just going to sch...it's nt like I'm going for a fashion show or something. So, T-shirt with shorts and slippers would do it just fine for me. I don't care with strangers' opinions about my dress sense. I dress up when I feel a nd to. So, I'll continue to wear anything I feel like wearing. I will try to stick to my own likings. Coz my tastes determine my true characteristics and personality.

The next thing I wanna blog about wld b my wound which I get frm my dad this morning. He asked me to call travel agency about the air ticket price for round-way trip S'pore to HK yesterday. Bt I was so busy yesterday that I only cld call today. Bt he asked me bout the information early in the morning. So, he got a lil mad at me for nt being able to help him asap. His words on his last sms was the 1 that hurt me the most. It was very simple and it was perhaps just a passing remarks for him. Bt I gt rly2 affected. There might be a part of me that got hurt coz I feel that he doesn't understand me, doesn't know what hell I'm going thru with my studies. And there's another part of me that was hurt coz I feel bad for disappointing him. His request was so easy n cld be done in a vry2 short time bt yet I procrastinate.

I don't rly know which cause hurt me the most but I know for sure that my mood was totally bad before the svc start. Bt God is rly good. During the worship, I had a gd cry. He's the only 1 that I can complain my real feelings to, and wld make me feel light all over after I'm done with the complaints :D I felt like just continue crying but worship still had to end, svc had to start.

Thank God that after I cried out, my heart felt secured again. I felt like my burden had been lifted up coz I had chosen to look up when my front, side, and back are pressing unto me.

--Hide me now...Under Your wings--

CRAPPY ENTRY

2007-08-27T10:16:00.000+08:00

Wuihhh bt nya gw...Ternyata bnran wireless internet gw yg ada error nih kaenya. Stiupait! Grrrrrrrr.... Knp sih gw mesti mengalami mslh ke-comp-an melulu? Knp sih laptop gw mesti byk mslhnya? Knp!!!! Huhhhh kesel bnr! Mslh comp kae gini ini yg plg bs bikin gw stress. Dah laptop ada prob, desktop pun hang2 terus. Knp pula itu? Grrrrr! Pengen gw banting rasanya.

Eniwei, skrg gw lg mo coba cpt2 selesaiin HR proj. Pdhl cuma butuh 1800 kata2 doang. Gt dikit. Tp gw males bgt utk buat....Sering d drag2 sampe akhirnya deadline dah deket bgt *Tarik nafas dlm2* Jadi males skul nih! LOL. Pengen kae iyun. Mau memperdalam bidang yg gw tertarik. Kalo gw bljrin apa yg gw suka, pasti bs jago dgn cepat deh. Hehehe. Kalo suka ama sesuatu, pasti kan napsu utk bljrnya. Knp skul itu mesti bljr macem2 yg aneh2? LOL. Dah gt ada exam n projek pula. Siapa yah yg pertama kl memperkenalkan projek n exam? Kok bs kepikiran utk kasih murid2 itu semua supaya bs naek kelas. Hahaha. Yah wis lah.

Ngmg2, tmn gw dah mulai kasih hubungan gw n dia. Huehehehe. Tp dia suruh gw supaya lbh terbuka n coba liat kalau sifat dia msh sama sperti skrg. Yah pasti lah yah...Karna blkgan ini, semua yg jelek2 jg dah kuar. Kaenya gw yg asli pun ngga seberapa mengerikannya sperti monster, ampe mesti byk yg gw umpet2in dr dia deh? Cuma mungkin pertama nya dia ngga tau kl gw gampang ngambek. Sry yah kl gw suka bikin kewalahan. Dah gt gw jeles-an orgnya. Mungkin itu karna gw emang bkn org yg PD. Yah mestinya sih dia tau itu dr awal. Hahaha. Mudah2an aja dia bs tahan ama kekurangan gw yg 1 ini. Karna gw tau kl sifat gw yg kae gini bs bikin org ilfil :(

Gw syg ama dia :) Gw lg nunggu bbrp saat lg utk gw bs terbuka ttg hub. kita ber2 ini. Hehehe.

Oh iya!! Mudah2an iyun jd dtg. N jg mudah2an rencana k rusia bln dec jadi. GW mau maen salju!!! Hohohoh. Tp mesti tinggalin dia utk 1bln T-T Cobain utk bs maen2 k Jkt ok say?