Vell's Rainbowfied Life.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

UNTITLED

Skrg semuanya udah keluar. Semua fakta udah ketauan. Apa yg mesti gw pilih? Ternyata semuanya bnr2 d luar perkiraan gw. Apakah salah terlalu gampang mempercayai org? Ternyata bnr2 pepatah 'jgn memandang buku dr luarnya' itu bnr banget. Sebenernya gw dah pernah ngalamin n dah pernah janji k diri sendiri utk jgn terlalu gampang percaya org. Tp knp gw tetep kena jg? Sebodoh itukah gw?

Pengen bgt ngga sendiri pas saat2 begini. Sepi banget deh. Pikiran gw buntu. Ngga tau mesti gmn. K siapa kah gw bs terbuka skrg? Pengen balik jkt bgt rasanya. Kangen ama ortu, ama cc kk, ama iyun (terutama), ping2, ama mersi. Hiks2! Bs ngga yah gw stay d sg stelah gw graduate dr sini? Jadi kepikiran.

Mungkin lebih baik klo gw bnr2 for good d jkt aja yah? Memang bklan byk rintangannya sih d sana. Tp plg tdk, gw ngga bkl merasa kesepian. Plg tdk klo rmh kosong, tetep ada mersi buat tmnin gw. Hehehe. Ngga kae skrg. Kaenya ima pun udah abandon gw. Hiks! Oh iyun!!!!!!! Knp elo tinggalin gw sendiri? Gw jd inget klo pagi2 gw suka gangguin elo supaya elo bgn. Terus gw suka kepoh2 pas elo ceting d kmr sebelah. Skrg gw tinggal sendirian. Lama2 bs jadi kae orgil kli yah...Ngmg k diri sendiri. Ngmg k udara.

Emang sih pas ada si iyun, gw stress. Sering marah2in dia. Tp plg tdk, dia itu dah kae sodara n tmn gw yg plgggg deket. Drpd sepi begini, gw lebih milih stress marah2in dia deh. Skrg mau marah pun ngga ada yg bs d marahin. Nyesel nya gw.

Ngeliat 1 rmh gelap, kae ngga ada yg idup d dlmnya, gw ngerasa hampaaaa bgt. Sering kepikiran...apakah gw bs ngejalanin hidup sperti ini? Brp lama kah gw bs bertahan? Gw jadi ngga ada gairah utk ngapa2in. Apalg buat skul. Gmn dong? Gawat bgt nih...pdhl dah tinggal bbrp minggu lg gw dah exam. Arggghhh!!! Gw ngga mau fail. Gw ngga mau sampe mesti repeat subject apapun. Udah empet gw. Pengen cptan tamat then balik indo aja. Enjoy. Hehehe.

Duh kangen berat ama mersi. Bnr2 cuma dia yg bs show gw real love. Walopun dia cuma anjing. Memang kdg2 punya anjing lebih baik drpd punya pacar sekalipun. Hehehe. Coba aja gw ada duit, gw pelihara 1 d sini buat tmnin gw. Hehehe. Pasti lucu deh.

Vell Signed off ♥ 2:01 AM

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

LIKE YOU, LIKE YOU NOT

I used to wonder how does it feel for a girl to have so many guys wooing them. It must've feel good, she must've feel like she's so pretty, treated like a princess, must've feel so proud for being herself, etc. I often envy those girls who can attract guys so easily without being the prettiest in the universe (sometimes, without being pretty at all). I always wonder what's their attraction, what's the particular factor that can make guys so mesmerized, so dying to get them, act so stupidly nice (and some are fake) during the wooing period. I wanted to have a taste of it all. Bt my elder sis used to tell me that it ain't nice. Some guys are just sooooo weird that she got scared. I had to help her answer phonecalls and lie to the guy who was chasing after her. She was always in the toilet back at those time. Hahaha. Once, my aunt picked up a call from a guy and told him that my sis was swimming. There's nothing wrong except it was in the middle of the night. I recall it was 11pm!!! Who wld swim in that hour in the condo pool? If it's private pool, then perhaps she would. Anyways....Poor guys. Being weirdos was bad enough, and still got cheated. Hahaha. Love is blind, I guess. Even after being lied to so many times, they still didn't give up. Due to this, I got irritated by them too. But I still thought that it was cool. My sisters are so cool, pretty, so many guys like them. I often envy them.

Bt I was totally wrong... Now that I've an encounter of it myself... Not that there are suddenly a lot of guys falling for me. But there's just one that just admitted to me. I don't like this. I don't wanna hurt anybody. It's all thanks to my reply in sms saying, 'Oh, I thought u ignored me. Haha.' Argh I shldn't have said that. It led to disaster. I already knew from the start that he's not gonna be inside my prospect list at all. So I treated him as a friend. Anyway we've only met for barely a few hours in total, not even a day! Who would fall for me in such short period of time? I don't believe in love at first sight. It'd only be loving the outward appearance, without knowing the inside. Thus, I ran away from this situation. I ignored him in return. I already tried to tell him that it can't happen between us. But he insisted that I should give it a try. NO!!! I don't like the way he speaks at all. His profession really shows..He's like totally a teacher. Always said out 'you get me?' during the conversation.

Hope he gets what I mean after I ignored his last sms without being hurt. All I wanted was a friend. But now...I lose it again.

Vell Signed off ♥ 1:39 PM