Vell's Rainbowfied Life.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Who...?

So many things happened within such a short period of time. I can't digest all of them properly. It could be a lesson for me.. So that I know my limit in taking care of other people's business.

I've been busy with a lot of stuff... Which I can't handle. I've only got 2 hands, 1 brain... 1 small brain... That can't carry all the thoughts that I'm having right now. I can't reveal the things here... I don't want to.. And I don't know how to put it either. It all seemed like it'd only happen in a drama series on TV, bt it's happening in my life. So ridiculous. I'm just gonna laugh it off if I recall it in the future.. When I'm old. Haha.

Exact timing...1 week ago..That the incident happened. My life suddenly felt so heavy. I didn't know my purpose again. I felt so hurt. I didn't know to whom I could turn to. I didn't have a shoulder to cry on. And I didn't know whether there's someone out there who'll be willing to hear what I wanted to say. All my feelings inside me that's longing to be vomitted out. I tried to search for somebody. I couldn't really find any. Coz who I wanna tell is only that 1 particular person that I've been thinking and cared so much about. But sadly, she never listen. Thank God I've some friends who comforted me. Really glad having them in my life.

Anyway... The problem hasn't really been settled 100% yet. And everyone have their own secrets. I can understand. But now.. I don't know who can I trust. I only know there's God in heaven whom I can always trust and rely on. But besides that, I need some worldly person whom I can turn to. Someone who can lend me his/her listening ears or a shoulder to cry on when I need 1.

I just hope that this thing won't last long. I can't stand this. My patience has a limit too. No matter how patient a person I am or how calm I am. I still can't handle too much stuff at 1 go. And this thing is affecting my studies, my sch life, my mood and life. At times like this, how I miss my family at Indo. It's so lonely here.. Only the 3 of us in this house. I feel that it's so empty. It's often only me, myself, and I. How I wish I've a pet dog here.. Then I won't be so lonely. At least the dog would come to me. Hoping to get some love from me. Haha. Pets are easily satisfied, unlike humans. Oh well... It's not easy to be keeping a pet anyway. So, maybe I'll just have to find some activity or a hobby to spend the time. Something useful for myself.

Anyways... I'll be graduating from poly soon. I dont know what am I gonna do next. Hoping to get into 1 of the University here in S'pore. If not, I dont know what the next step I'm gonna take is. Maybe find a job. I don't aim for some high class jobs. I just wanna earn some cash. I dont know.... And maybe its best for me to focus on studying 1st for the time being. I shall stop worrying on other stuff. Just have to be worried over my studies. It's stressful enough for me. Haha. And sometimes.. I'm just gonna have some fun with my beloved friends. Chill out together and hang out. Good to relieve stress. Hehe. Alrighty.. Till next time.. Velly out~

Vell Signed off ♥ 1:26 PM